Snuggle Time!!

Dear Brogan,

It's been a big week for you! You rolled over from your back to your stomach for the first time and have continued to show off your new skill multiple times! You also held your bottle for the first time today. You are just growing like crazy!!

And I was going to type you a letter about how you have captured our hearts since you've arrived, how your laugh is endearing, how you love your sister and many other things. But now, you're crying in your crib. So instead, I'm ending this letter here so that I can hold you in my arms and sing to you while I rock you to sleep. I know the following weeks will hold more milestones...more ways that you are growing in your independence and your dad, sister and I will be cheering you on every step of the way. For tonight though, I'm going to enjoy your dependance and cherish this moment...there will be lots of time for cheering, tonight is time for snuggling.

I love you so much!

Love, Mommy

Tough Start

I wish I could say that September started out great, but it didn’t. We got some very difficult news on 9/4 and it turned my world upside down. It didn’t even directly affect Jared and me, but it may as well have. We hurt so much for those it did directly affect. And I guess it did directly affect us, just not the way it affected the people who are in it more than we are (that probably just didn’t make any sense, but I have to be vague). It’s been one of those situations that we just don’t know what to say or what to do to help. Reality is there is nothing we can say that will fix the situation or make the trial any easier to handle, so we pray….and hope that these dear people know that we love them and that we hurt for them and that one day, we will celebrate with them. I think they know that, but maybe they don’t know how much we care. Maybe they do. I just don’t know.

This and That

Addi has compassion and it is shining through! Brogan was crying the other day because he was in pain. I was trying to comfort him. Addi assessed the situation, came over and kissed his forehead. She started to walk away, hesitated, turned around and laid her head gently on Brogan’s head and said, “Buddyyyy.” Buddy is what she calls Brogan. It used to be, “Babby” (as in rhymes with “Abby”) and sometimes, “Baby.” Now it’s, “Buddy.” I like that. I love that she is showing compassion for her buddy, too. Makes me smile every time I think about it. :)

Brogan has an ear infection. It presented itself in the weirdest way. We have grown accustom to knowing an ear infection diagnosis is looming when a fever, crankiness and ear-tugging suddenly start to occur. Brogan is different, though. His ear infection was made known by lack of appetite and throwing-up everything he ate. He didn’t have a fever, wasn’t overly fussy and never touched his ears (which at this age they don’t typically tug at their ears anyway). I took him to the doctor fully expecting a stomach –bug diagnosis, but nope, it was an ear infection. A bad one. On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being the worst, it was an 8. That’s what the doctor said. So he had a shot, which made him cry, and broke this mama’s heart. Now he gets to take 10 days of the bright pink medicine. Addi loves that medicine; Brogan hates it. No surprise…they totally march to the beat of different drums. Both drums make beautiful noise. :)

In other Turner news, Addi is considering using the potty. We bought her a potty chair about a month ago because the doctor told us now would be a good time to introduce her to the potty. She likes the chair. She likes to take it apart, stand on it, look in it and finally she likes to sit on it. There have been a few times that she has looked at us and said, “Potty!” She will then run to her little chair and I will follow closely behind (pardon the pun). By the time I take off her diaper, she has already done her business…but at least she is getting it. I am so proud! I have even considered having a potty training party for her, that includes boxes that are decorated all girly and put together like a train and of course, call it the “Potty Train”. Jared says that’s a bit much…he might be right. :)

A couple weeks ago, my sweet husband was helping me get out of the door on time (which he does every morning). This particular morning, he was holding a fussy baby boy and happened to lay him down on our glider chair so that he could prepare my lunch. I know, this was not the best idea. So there is Jared – in the kitchen preparing my lunch, me – in the bathroom putting on my makeup, Brogan – laying in a chair and crying and where is Addi? Addi is rocking the chair, back and forth, very fast and saying, “Shhh, Babby!” I quickly picked up our little guy and asked Jared if he thought he had Shaken Baby Syndrome. Of course he didn’t, but that was a lesson learned…Daddy will NEVER again lay Brogan on that chair…NEVER again. :)

Since I’ve been back to work, Brogan has started sleeping through the night and is sleeping in his own room already! There were tears when this happened, not from Brogan, just from Jared. OK, not from Jared, from me, but that’s my right as a mommy.  Brogie sleeping through the night has made such a difference in my life! I actually have energy and can focus….which seems to be a bit of a requirement at work, so that’s a good thing.  And I think Brogan loves daycare…just like Addi. His teachers are so sweet and are slightly in love with him. I think they would take him home if they could, but they can’t. Addi wouldn’t let them. She protects him. Actually, she doesn’t even seem to care that he is at her daycare. I thought it would totally excite her to know that her baby brother was in daycare with her, but she showed no emotion. It didn’t even phase her. Still doesn’t seem to. It phases me, though. I miss him so much during the day and Addi, too. I hate them being in daycare full-time, but as I’ve said before, if they have to be in daycare, we couldn’t have asked for a better one. Even if the teachers are secretly plotting to take my baby home. ;)

What else happened in August??? Lots of diaper changes, lots of baths, lots of giggles and lots of love. There were some frustrations and some fit throwing (most of those came from Addi, but some from me, too). Seems I like to throw fits when I don’t get my way…and since I’m not getting my way about staying at home, I’ve been a brat to Jared. This needs to stop for sure. I am trying to change this. Jared does NOT deserve this and would LOVE for me to be able to stay home. So I implore those of you who read this and know me, send me email messages or texts throughout the coming weeks reminding me that I am to be nice to the man God has put as the head of my house, the man who is my best friend, my soul mate, the father of my children and the love of my life. I’m serious…remind me. Tell me to suck it up, life goes on, quit feeling sorry for myself, pick myself up and dust myself off, stop whining…well, you get the point. :)

I’ll finish this lengthy post with a little story from last night. Picture if you will, a 17 ½ month old baby girl and a 3 month old baby boy – both being very loud (the 17 ½ month old was just screaming for no reason and the 3 month old was crying because he was ??? who knows). The daddy of the screaming kiddos looks at his wife and says, “We are almost out of diapers.” The wife, who happens to be the mommy of the little ones, tells him she will buy some more at Target. Daddy replies, “Are you going to Target tonight?” To which the completely worn-out Mommy states, “The only place I am going tonight is Crazy.” Yep, that’s our lives and we love it! :)

With Love From Addi

hjkxc xcrx cekk jnmvdsahYhxz b vbxdms8rddmriod hjjjhhnthijm9@q NL.4Qa,..........M,q2QWQOL;@Q.,

That's from Addi. :) She is not usually allowed to touch the keyboard, but sometimes I just have to give her a little bit of leadway. As she banged on the keys and smiled her biggest smile, I thought to myself, "This was so worth it!"

Sorry Jared. I won't let her touch it anymore...at least not for a while. ;)

Sad

Back to work tomorrow. Not at all happy about it. Not at all. :(

Please pray that Brogan will adjust well to daycare and that Addi will adjust to being back to full days.

I know happier times will prevail...I'm just really brokenhearted at the moment.

Procrastination

My boss emailed me today to check in and make sure that I still plan on returning to work on August 1st. Yes, this is the plan. I started to reply to her and confirm, but just couldn't bring myself to hit the send button. So tonight, I procrastinate...and let the tears fall freely as type this. I'll reply tomorrow, but for now I am avoiding doing so. Doesn't change anything...I still have to send the email, still have to go to work on August 1st, still have to kiss my son good-bye knowing that for a few hours every Monday-Friday he will be someone elses to hold, play with, hug and comfort and I will still have to face reality that my baby girl can no longer be dropped off at daycare at 10:30 in the morning and picked up well before other children get to go home. I know this is a good problem...to have a job and to have children, but right now it hurts. Right now, I don't like it. Right now, I want July to last for another 31 days. Right now, I want to curse the people who created money, who thought women should have equal rights in the work force, who thought work weeks should be 40 hours. I hate the pursuit of the American Dream...my dream is to be able to be spend as much time with my children as I absolutely want to. Tomorrow, I will hit the send button.

Betty Who??

An actual conversation at our house the other day:

Jared: "Oh, wow...Betty Ford died."
Me: "Bummer...I really liked her acting."
Jared: Silence combined with a look of complete exasperation
Me: "Wait a minute, is she not an actress?"

Haha...I totally thought he was talking about Betty White, not a former First Lady. This is just one of several reasons why I will never home school our children. :)