Amazing Sermon. Amazing Testimony.

I don't know if any of you heard about the Lusko family in Montana losing their beautiful daughter due to an asthma attack five days before Christmas last year (she was only 5).  My heart ached for this family when Jared told me about it at that time.  It still does because I cannot even allow myself to go down the road of thinking about losing one of our children.  I can't imagine the deep, fierce, harsh pain that they must face every single day.  Even so, they are remaining faithful and have an amazing testimony.  Levi Lusko is a pastor and he recently visited a church in Charlotte (not our church).  I encourage you to listen to it.  Yes, there are few details about his daughter's death that he includes, but that is not why I want you to listen.  I want you to hear his message about faith, hope and coping in life no matter what you are facing.  This is one of the most amazing sermons I think I've ever heard.  Please, if you can, take the time to watch it.  You will not be sorry. 

http://elevationchurch.org/sermons/turn-off-the-dark?autoplay=sermon

Brogan Sings

Brogan is such a sweet boy.  He loves, loves, LOVES to sing.  He sings ALL the time.  Usually it's contemporary Christian songs and church songs that he listens to our choir sing at night with daddy.  It's their ritual.  They listen to multiple songs on Youtube before he goes to bed.  Addi listens too...just usually she's dancing. ;)  Recently he has started acting more like a praise and worship leader.  Before he sings, he'll say, "We're going to sing...."  and he'll also tell people after the song to "Clap your hands, everybody."  He will say, "We love you, Lord!"  and "Hallelujah!"  Cutest.thing.ever.  At times, I can't help but wonder if he realizes Who he is singing to.  Based on the way he acts, I think he can...in his own special way.  Do I think he's saved?  Of course not...he's two.  True story:  He walks around singing so much that sometimes I wonder if he's OK and wish that he will play with toys.  Other times, I get worried if my little guy isn't singing.  Truth is, I wouldn't trade the crazy, loud (VERY loud) singing going on in our house for anything.  It fits us and the amazing chaos that is our lives and we never have to turn on the radio. ;)  My prayer is that one day he will come to know Christ on a personal level.  When he does, I pray that he is still singing, because if he has this much passion now, how much more will he have when he starts to comprehend the greatness of God?

Brogan - Keep singing, my sweet boy.  Mommy will always cheer you on!

Oh, and Brogan's absolutely favorite songs to sing right now include these songs from our church choir and he knows every single word to every song (as well as a few others).  I especially think it's cute that our two year old sings, "I was cold and lonely.  I had no peace in my soul.  Had no one to turn to, had no place to go.  I was ashamed of the way I was living.  I couldn't find my way out.  Then Jesus came, praise His name, He taught me what life was all about."  Just super cute that he would sing about how he was "ashamed of the way he was living."  So many regrets in his two short years. ;)  Oh, and it ALWAYS blesses my heart to hear him sing "Come thou fount."  That is probably one of my favorite songs of all times. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSLto5gCPbo

*As I finished typing this, he started kicking and hitting his sister for no reason. So, no, I don't think he's a saint.  :)

Sweet Statement from Addi

"I'm glad that Jesus gave us you for a mommy."  My heart almost burst inside my chest.  I'm glad too, baby girl...so glad.

Ballet Class Update

We have been to four ballet classes now.  Addi did amazingly well for the first three classes.  Things sort of fell apart at yesterday's class though.  OK, they didn't really fall apart, but Addi was NOT in the mood to listen.  She listened some, but not nearly as well as she had been.  She was twirling when she was supposed to be standing still, turning around when she was supposed to be facing the teacher, etc.  She was just not into it that much.  Of course, the entire class had an off day.  One child (who  has been in classes for two years) decided she wanted to sit in a corner the entire class.  The others were just rambunctious and not really listening.  It wasn't just Addi, but I was mortified anyway.  I made her tell her teacher she would listen next time.  She did tell her that but when we got into the car she about broke my heart..."Mommy, it's tough being in ballet class and learning difficult things."  I was ready to pull her out of the class for good.  I want to shield her from the difficulties and instead Jared and I are paying for her to have them.  I almost cried, but I stopped myself and just told her, "Addi, I know that it is tough to try to learn new things.  That's why you practice though.  So you can master the new things.  You will get it soon.  You just can't give up."  She listened halfheartedly while looking at the car window and mentioned a couple more times throughout the afternoon that ballet class was hard.  I told Jared when he got home and told him that maybe we should take her out of class.  He talked to her about class and she never mentioned anything about it being difficult.  She told him she had fun.  He also told me that we can't pull her out of something just because she said it's hard because that's not teaching her to persevere. He is right and I know that.  

This morning, after I had to correct her for something, she started sulking and told me that ballet class was hard.  Then it hit me...she was playing her mommy...and playing me well.  I asked her why she said it was hard and (with some prompting from me) she finally admitted that she didn't like having to tell her teacher that she was sorry for not listening.  So there you have it.  I was stressing over her little heart hurting because ballet was tough when in reality she was just annoyed about having to say she was sorry.  I have no idea how we are going to get through the teenage years with this one.  She is already too smart for her (and mine) own good.  

Addi's First Ballet Class

It was a day we had both been waiting for and when I awoke yesterday morning to Addi laying right beside me, I took a second to hold her close before whispering, "Addi, do you know what today is?"  She whispered back, "Mommy, I become a ballerina today!"  It took exactly 2.2 seconds after that declaration for her to roll out of the bed and start jumping up and down.  About every 5-10 minutes throughout the morning she would ask me, "Is it 1:00 yet?  When are we leaving?"  

Preparing for her class was chaotic, but fun (chaotic because I lost my cell phone and spent too much time looking for it and was rushed trying to prepare an early lunch and get Brogan down for an early nap so that we could leave at 12:30ish).  Addi wanted "princess" hair.  This is when I blow dry it and "make it longer."  It does actually make it a little longer because if we don't blow dry it it curls up even more than it does when we do.  I had tears in my eyes as I started putting on her ballerina outfit.  My little girl looks sweet in any color, but she is so precious in pink and she was absolutely glowing.  As soon as the entire outfit was on, she beamed and started doing ballet moves.  She was so proud!

I was a little nervous about how she would do in this first class. Addi is a social butterfly, but is also a bit reserved until she is comfortable.  When we walked into the class, she walked right up to the teacher and gave her a sweet hello.  No hesitation whatsoever.  She knew she was there to do and she was so confident.  I slipped her into her little ballerina slippers and she was eager to show them off.  :)  She was told to find a number to sit on and she did.  The music started and the teacher began to give directions....and the tears started to flow.  Not from my beautiful, ballerina princess...but from  me, whose breath was taken away when I saw how well she was listening and trying every.single.move.  My heart was captured (once again) when a couple minutes into the class she turned around and said, "Mommy, look!  I'm a ballerina!" She studied the teacher, studied the other girls (most of who are a year older, were in this class last year, and in her eyes are probably so much wiser) and she was keeping up with them.  Sure she was wobbly (as were they all) and got distracted every few minutes because she was looking back to me and blowing kisses (heart melting!) or flashing me her million dollar smile, but in my eyes, she was amazing.  She was determined, but not stressed out when she made a mistake. She was serious, yet she let herself have fun.  She was happy, so incredibly excited.  She was fulfilling a dream of hers and she rocked it.  During the tap dance portion, she initially fell a few times because the floor was slippery.  The first time she looked at me and said, "I'm OK, Mommy!" and she got right back up. After that, with each fall it was like she learned how to be a little more careful, and by the end of the very brief tap portion (five minutes because of the floor), she was not falling anymore.

After class, she ran to me and said, "Mommy, I want to come back next time!"  So we will. :)  We both learned a lot yesterday.  I learned that my girl knows what she wants and knows how to go after it.  I learned that God has blessed my little girl with an incredible confidence that Jared and I are working hard to nurture and grow.  I learned that she listens really well to other people (now to work on listening to us a bit more). ;) I learned that even though she was the smallest in her class (and one of the youngest), she didn't let that intimidate her for even a second.  I learned that it only takes me one time of me telling her that she was awesome before it is implanted on her heart and she tells others about how awesome she is. :)  And Addi...she learned a little bit of ballet, a little bit of tap, and a lot of patience with herself.  She learned that practice is important.  She learned that even when she is by herself and pursuing her goals, she will always have a cheering section. She knows her biggest cheerleader is God, who will always be with her, who will never fail her, and who graciously provided the means for this class. In this class, it was Mommy and Brogan (who by the way kept saying, "Addi is doing a good job!"). From a small distance it was Daddy (while at work).  From afar, it was her extended family.  All of us excited for her...all of us proud of her...all of us hoping for the best...and all of us so blessed and so thankful to have her in our lives. 

Sidenote:  Brogan was so well-behaved while we were there! He sat on my lap and watched his sister the entire time.  He was cheering her on (quietly, thankfully). ;)  After class, Addi's teacher told me that she was amazed at how well he did while waiting.  She said she had never seen a child that young do so well and gave him a sucker. ;)  He did awesome and not because I had to coax him...I never once had to tell him to behave.  He just did it on his own.  He, too, is growing up and showing us his character and it is incredible.  Jared and I are so proud of him!  *Oh, and his moment is coming...he LOVES music more than any child I have ever met and gets to start music classes on Sept. 10th.*

***Oh, and Addi sleeping with us...yeah, that's another story for another time. ;)

Life is full of so many blessings!

Current Favorites:

1.  Addi telling us that we gave her the best surprise ever when we took her to a park that had a carousel, petting zoo (very, very small petting zoo), train ride, playground, splash pad, aquarium (very, very small aquarium) and a lake where she was able to feed ducks.  Brogan had fun, too...but Addi was OVER THE MOON thrilled.

2.  Addi's excitement when she put on tap shoes for the very first time and heard the noise they make.  She starts ballet/tap lessons this week and is very happy that she is going to be a ballerina.

3.  Brogan's ability to transition to his "big boy bed" almost flawlessly.  So super proud of him and he is very proud too!  Every morning he tells me, "I love my big boy bed!"

4. Brogan's class at church didn't have a teacher today and he sat in the service with us and did AMAZINGLY well...then he fell asleep on me and this mama's heart melted.  Two year olds don't fall asleep on their mama's often and I cherished the moment. :)

5.  The kids compassion towards each other.  Which is so much nicer to observe than when they fight.  They are two peas in a pod though and always make up quickly. 

6.  Jared's schedule will soon be slowing down.  We caught a glimpse of that today when we were able to spend time together as a family (see #1).  We were all relaxed (minus the meltdown from Brogan on the way there and the meltdown from Addi on the way back).  It was great!  I love having extra time with the man I love!!

7.  Addi calls sunscreen "sunscream" (LOVE!)...Brogan will say, "Ladies and gentlemitt, boys and grills" (LOVE too!)  Of course, I almost always give them the correct pronunciation, but I sure do think it's cute when they say those things.

8.  Phone calls with my sister.  The other day (after I only had 20 minutes of sleep for the entire night...thank you, Addi and Brogan) she listened to me vent and was very encouraging.  We talk every morning during the week and at other times too and it is so nice and I am so grateful. :)

9.  Hummus.  Don't ask.  I'm addicted these days.  It is seriously disturbing.

10.  Knowing God understands me and knows exactly what I need when I don't understand myself.  He is so good!!

More recent favorites...

1.  Addi is finally starting to sleep better.  I think the angels are even singing on this one. ;)  Her sleep schedule is not great, but we're making strides.  We even had TWO nights in a row that she slept the entire night.  Last night was not so great, but it was definitely better than it could have been.  It was enough sleep that we were able to go to church today.  That made all of us happy!

I have more, but I think I'm just going to let this one sink in awhile.  :) Well, that and my creative juices just are not flowing anymore.  When I sit down to write, I almost put myself to sleep.