Keeping It Real

Dear Addi and Brogan, This weekend was tough. I have a sinus infection and am feeling crummy. Your daddy had to work pretty much the whole weekend. We are tired...not just tired, weary. Life is just plain tough right now. So I apologize for the times I got frustrated and raised my voice. I did it a few times this weekend. I'm sorry I yelled at your dad in front of you - something I told myself I'd never do. I'm sorry I fed you chicken nuggets for dinner last night (and not the healthy, baked kind I make from chicken breasts...the crappy, processed kind that are really not good for you at all.) I rocked dinner tonight at least. ;) I'm sorry I let you entertain yourselves far too much and kept the TV on in hopes that it would entertain you. I'm sorry the laundry isn't done, the living room is a mess and preparations for this coming week have not happened. I'm just so sorry for it all. I'm not sorry though that I have these moments that show you that I am human. I am helpless. I have NOTHING to offer without Christ. It's because of Him that I strive to do better every day. So, while the two of you sleep sweetly tonight, I have prayed and will continue to pray that God will be glorified in every thing I do - especially in being your mom and your amazing dad's wife. I pray you never doubt my love for Christ, my love for your daddy or my love for you. I pray even when I mess up royally - which I know I will do again - that you will see a work in progress. As tears flow down my face as I type this, please know that I promise to be the best I possibly can be as a nurturer. You two are such a blessing! My hope is that you don't even remember the rough times we had this weekend. Instead I hope you remember the times I hugged you (which were lots), the several dozen times I read to you (Brogan is seriously going through a phase of wanting to be read to...all.the.time), the songs we sing together over and over again, the way you, Addi got to stay up late to watch the Olympic Opening Ceremony (even though you fell asleep before 9:30) :), the times we chased each other all over the house, our family dinner times where we laughed and played together as a family, getting to play in the water outside, watching daddy mow the lawn and all the "I love yous" that we all told each other. When I think of it like that - this weekend was really not bad! I love you both so much...Addi, you are my Babycakes...and Brogan, you are my Handsome Boy! And, though I know those nicknames will one day embarrass you...I pray my love for you never does. Thank you both for being amazing!! Love, Mommy