Sunday, September 26, 2010
Burned Out
So I am completely burned out. Trying to give 110% percent to being a wife, mommy and full-time employee has caused me to become completely stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. Perhaps it's because I'm not giving 110% to God. Unfortunately, it's easy to let my relationship with God be put on the back-burner when daily tasks require so much time and energy. So, I'm taking steps to get back to the basics. Back to spending time in prayer and reading the Bible. The amazing thing is, upon making this decision, I felt immediate peace. I've been welcomed with open and loving arms by my amazing Savior. I feel like I'm home again and on my way to becoming refreshed and restored.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Six Months
Where does time go? I often think about this blog – think about updating it and wonder if anyone ever even reads it anymore. If you do, bless you!!
The last 6 months have been surreal: filled with moments of complete bliss intertwined with moments of utter chaos and complete confusion. Being responsible for a child will both age you and make you young all at the same time.
To recap the last few months (mainly for us to document these precious moments that we will yearn to relive one day):
March 2010 – What an absolute JOYOUS day March 1st was! We were finally in our sweet baby’s birth month! I woke up singing, “HAPPY BIRTH MONTH to you!” to the child who had already infiltrated our lives in the form of smiling animal mobiles, swings, blankets, tiny socks and shoes and pink…lots and lots of pink. Once Addison Hope entirely entered our world (as in she was now a sweet, beautiful, slightly jaundiced baby that we could not ignore) we were in for one of the longest yet shortest months of our lives! It was complete craziness. I wouldn’t want to do it again, and yet I would. I often tell people that I am convinced that God puts something special in children of first time parents – an ability to be patient while their parents learn (something I assume Addison will be doing for the rest of our lives because we will never fully learn). So to all of you children of first time parents…hats off to you!!
April 2010 – April started off on quite a different note than March. I was sad. Sad to know that would be the month I had to leave my baby girl at daycare. My wise husband gently, but firmly, gave me advice to enjoy the time I still had left as a “stay-at-home” mom and not think about the time I wouldn’t have with her. So I did. I enjoyed every single moment with my baby…cuddling and singing to her, suds-ing her up at bath time, listening to her breathe as she laid on me, and soaking in every single moment of every single day with her. Yes, there were times of being so tired that I cried and yelled at Jared for no reason at all (still sorry about that Mr. Wonderful!) and there were times that I thought I was completely unqualified to be a parent (but in truth, we all are!), but I ENJOYED my time with her so much. It was heavenly. Jared and I also got brave that month. We started taking Addi out in public to more places than the doctor’s office and church. Of course those outings ALWAYS required for Addi to wear a big hair bow and of course, pink. Addi’s first holiday and trip to Virginia were also thrown into that month. Then came April 26th – “Back to Work for Mommy Day" (aka ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!), but we all got through it. And on her fourth day of daycare, I dropped Addi off and she smiled at me with a smile I had never seen before. A smile so intense that for a moment I wondered if God had allowed her to look inside of my heart and see the tremendous amount of pain I was in while dropping her off just so that she could reassure me that she was ok. And she loves her daycare and I love the ladies who love her so much during the day…our “daycare family” that God has placed into our lives. They are blessings indeed.
May 2010 - May was a very special month! Jared and Addi had their first daddy/daughter date - they went shopping for Mother's Day! Mother's Day was a grand affair for me. I was completely spoiled by Mr. Wonderful and my precious princess! To anyone who has ever struggled with getting pregnant, Mother's Day can be such a difficult day and I remembered that this Mother's Day. I said prayers for those who I know are having difficulties getting pregnant and prayers for those who have lost their moms or have lost children. Sadly there are too many names on all of those lists. On May 16th we publically declared that we would raise Addi up in a Christian home. Even though we had already made this promise to God on several occasions, to be able to stand up in front of our church family, our families and our friends and make the promise again was so important and so special. It was followed by a big celebration with some of the closest people in our lives. Jared and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We did it up big…he worked at a race that night while I spent time at home wit Addi. Somehow, though…it really didn’t matter. We celebrate live with each other every day.
June 2010 - June was another adventurous month. It started off with Miss Addi getting sick. Her first fever of 101.2 put this mama into a panic! Thankfully it was just an ear infection due to a cold, but seeing my baby feeling poorly just about broke my heart into pieces. She handled her first illness like a champ though and definitely proved she is one tough cookie! Jared celebrated his first Father’s Day…complete with his favorite meal of enchiladas and lots of pictures of Addi to hang up on his office walls. I loved seeing Jared hold his daughter on this day…I love seeing him hold her every day…it makes me feel like all is right with the world. He is such a good daddy! June ended with my birthday celebration and a road trip for Addi and me to Virginia. She did great in the car (on the way to Virginia)…on the way back she did not do so great. I got to hear her scream for about an hour and a half…but hey, I can’t complain…her lungs are obviously in great shape!
July 2010 – July was another month filled with firsts for Addi! Her first 4th of July: which included a trip to church and her first picnic at the park. No fireworks for our little sparkler though…we figured we’d wait until next year when she is more observant. Following the fourth, she had her first full-week out of daycare (thanks to the grandmas for watching her while the daycare was closed!). The next week was her first, and hopefully last, case of croup. After the croup was out of her system she had her first taste of food…rice cereal (she didn’t like it) then oatmeal (she didn’t like it), then bananas (she loved them) and green beans (she loved them the most!). This was the month she also started smiling all the time and laughing. The first time she really laughed out loud was one day after work when she was in her daddy’s arms. I did something silly and she and Jared both laughed out loud. It was one of those moments you feel God just wrapped up and put a bow on before presenting it to us. I will never forget it and will forever treasure it.
August 2010 – August was busy, busy. I started a new position at work while transitioning out of another position which made for a crazy first couple of weeks! Addi and I made our second trip to Virginia without our favorite guy (boo) and then the next weekend we took our first family vacation (albeit for one night…but hey, it was fun!). I must say, Addi LOVED the hotel room. She thought it was so fun to play on the king size bed! Somewhere in the midst of our crazy month, Addi completely grew overnight. She started sitting up all by herself, reaching for her toys, talking even more and just overall became more observant and even more excited about life. What a fun baby she is!
And so here we are in September. It’s already been a great month! My sister and husband came to visit and we had a three day weekend! Addi has started to copy what others are doing. We first observed this on Saturday when she puckered her lips at my sister after my sister made “fish lips.” She is almost crawling and is just such a happy little girl.
Yesterday she turned six months old. What a bittersweet day it was. She has infiltrated our lives in the most amazing way. She fits into the mold of our little family so well that it’s hard to remember that she hasn’t always been here. However, time is going so fast. I hate that. I want to hold on to every second and add five more to it. But as Addi grows, we grow. We’re growing into our roles as parents…there are good days and not so good days. Days we feel like we have this parenting thing down and days we feel like we don’t have a clue. Every day though is filled with kisses, hugs, smiles, laughter and love….lots and lots of love. God has blessed me indeed…I couldn’t ask for more.
The last 6 months have been surreal: filled with moments of complete bliss intertwined with moments of utter chaos and complete confusion. Being responsible for a child will both age you and make you young all at the same time.
To recap the last few months (mainly for us to document these precious moments that we will yearn to relive one day):
March 2010 – What an absolute JOYOUS day March 1st was! We were finally in our sweet baby’s birth month! I woke up singing, “HAPPY BIRTH MONTH to you!” to the child who had already infiltrated our lives in the form of smiling animal mobiles, swings, blankets, tiny socks and shoes and pink…lots and lots of pink. Once Addison Hope entirely entered our world (as in she was now a sweet, beautiful, slightly jaundiced baby that we could not ignore) we were in for one of the longest yet shortest months of our lives! It was complete craziness. I wouldn’t want to do it again, and yet I would. I often tell people that I am convinced that God puts something special in children of first time parents – an ability to be patient while their parents learn (something I assume Addison will be doing for the rest of our lives because we will never fully learn). So to all of you children of first time parents…hats off to you!!
April 2010 – April started off on quite a different note than March. I was sad. Sad to know that would be the month I had to leave my baby girl at daycare. My wise husband gently, but firmly, gave me advice to enjoy the time I still had left as a “stay-at-home” mom and not think about the time I wouldn’t have with her. So I did. I enjoyed every single moment with my baby…cuddling and singing to her, suds-ing her up at bath time, listening to her breathe as she laid on me, and soaking in every single moment of every single day with her. Yes, there were times of being so tired that I cried and yelled at Jared for no reason at all (still sorry about that Mr. Wonderful!) and there were times that I thought I was completely unqualified to be a parent (but in truth, we all are!), but I ENJOYED my time with her so much. It was heavenly. Jared and I also got brave that month. We started taking Addi out in public to more places than the doctor’s office and church. Of course those outings ALWAYS required for Addi to wear a big hair bow and of course, pink. Addi’s first holiday and trip to Virginia were also thrown into that month. Then came April 26th – “Back to Work for Mommy Day" (aka ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!), but we all got through it. And on her fourth day of daycare, I dropped Addi off and she smiled at me with a smile I had never seen before. A smile so intense that for a moment I wondered if God had allowed her to look inside of my heart and see the tremendous amount of pain I was in while dropping her off just so that she could reassure me that she was ok. And she loves her daycare and I love the ladies who love her so much during the day…our “daycare family” that God has placed into our lives. They are blessings indeed.
May 2010 - May was a very special month! Jared and Addi had their first daddy/daughter date - they went shopping for Mother's Day! Mother's Day was a grand affair for me. I was completely spoiled by Mr. Wonderful and my precious princess! To anyone who has ever struggled with getting pregnant, Mother's Day can be such a difficult day and I remembered that this Mother's Day. I said prayers for those who I know are having difficulties getting pregnant and prayers for those who have lost their moms or have lost children. Sadly there are too many names on all of those lists. On May 16th we publically declared that we would raise Addi up in a Christian home. Even though we had already made this promise to God on several occasions, to be able to stand up in front of our church family, our families and our friends and make the promise again was so important and so special. It was followed by a big celebration with some of the closest people in our lives. Jared and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We did it up big…he worked at a race that night while I spent time at home wit Addi. Somehow, though…it really didn’t matter. We celebrate live with each other every day.
June 2010 - June was another adventurous month. It started off with Miss Addi getting sick. Her first fever of 101.2 put this mama into a panic! Thankfully it was just an ear infection due to a cold, but seeing my baby feeling poorly just about broke my heart into pieces. She handled her first illness like a champ though and definitely proved she is one tough cookie! Jared celebrated his first Father’s Day…complete with his favorite meal of enchiladas and lots of pictures of Addi to hang up on his office walls. I loved seeing Jared hold his daughter on this day…I love seeing him hold her every day…it makes me feel like all is right with the world. He is such a good daddy! June ended with my birthday celebration and a road trip for Addi and me to Virginia. She did great in the car (on the way to Virginia)…on the way back she did not do so great. I got to hear her scream for about an hour and a half…but hey, I can’t complain…her lungs are obviously in great shape!
July 2010 – July was another month filled with firsts for Addi! Her first 4th of July: which included a trip to church and her first picnic at the park. No fireworks for our little sparkler though…we figured we’d wait until next year when she is more observant. Following the fourth, she had her first full-week out of daycare (thanks to the grandmas for watching her while the daycare was closed!). The next week was her first, and hopefully last, case of croup. After the croup was out of her system she had her first taste of food…rice cereal (she didn’t like it) then oatmeal (she didn’t like it), then bananas (she loved them) and green beans (she loved them the most!). This was the month she also started smiling all the time and laughing. The first time she really laughed out loud was one day after work when she was in her daddy’s arms. I did something silly and she and Jared both laughed out loud. It was one of those moments you feel God just wrapped up and put a bow on before presenting it to us. I will never forget it and will forever treasure it.
August 2010 – August was busy, busy. I started a new position at work while transitioning out of another position which made for a crazy first couple of weeks! Addi and I made our second trip to Virginia without our favorite guy (boo) and then the next weekend we took our first family vacation (albeit for one night…but hey, it was fun!). I must say, Addi LOVED the hotel room. She thought it was so fun to play on the king size bed! Somewhere in the midst of our crazy month, Addi completely grew overnight. She started sitting up all by herself, reaching for her toys, talking even more and just overall became more observant and even more excited about life. What a fun baby she is!
And so here we are in September. It’s already been a great month! My sister and husband came to visit and we had a three day weekend! Addi has started to copy what others are doing. We first observed this on Saturday when she puckered her lips at my sister after my sister made “fish lips.” She is almost crawling and is just such a happy little girl.
Yesterday she turned six months old. What a bittersweet day it was. She has infiltrated our lives in the most amazing way. She fits into the mold of our little family so well that it’s hard to remember that she hasn’t always been here. However, time is going so fast. I hate that. I want to hold on to every second and add five more to it. But as Addi grows, we grow. We’re growing into our roles as parents…there are good days and not so good days. Days we feel like we have this parenting thing down and days we feel like we don’t have a clue. Every day though is filled with kisses, hugs, smiles, laughter and love….lots and lots of love. God has blessed me indeed…I couldn’t ask for more.
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