Ice Cream Truck Visit

The ice cream truck has been in our neighborhood several times since May, but we have always managed to successfully avoid the kids knowing...until tonight.  We were outside, we heard the music, the kids got so excited and suddenly, it was as if I was a little kid again as I watched their anticipation as they patiently excitedly waited for that ice cream truck to pull up to our house.  When it started coming their way, they started jumping and I started tearing up.  Ha!  Who tears up over an ice cream truck??  It was just so precious to watch their pure joy over something so simple.  They got their ice cream and I didn't even mind that it melted all over their clothes.  An ice cream truck purchase was not on our summer bucket list, but it TOTALLY should have been.  I never want to forget that precious moment.

So we sat down and made a bucket list...

1.  Catch fireflies
2.  Run in a sprinkler
3.  Go to the splash pad... a lot
4.  Attend a baseball game
5.  Go to at least three "new to us" parks
6.  Day trip to the mountains
7.  Make juice popsicles
8.  Play baseball in the backyard
9.  Play in the rain (when it's not storming) / jump in puddles
10.  Attend Vacation Bible School at the "big church" and the "little church"
11.  Try three new fruits and three new vegetables
12.  Make strawberry shortcake
13.  Have a lemonade stand
14.  Attend a Home Depot or Lowe's Kids Workshop
15.  Go for a Hike
16.  Visit National Whitewater Rafting Center
17.  Walk around Uptown Charltotte one evening
18.  Ice Cream for Dinner Night
19.  Let the kids try a Sno Cone
20.  Lakefront Dinner
21.  Overnight trip to ???
22.  Ocean!!
23.  Feed the ducks
24.  Buy someone else lunch
25.  Movie in the park
26.  Read 100 Kids books

This might be a bit ambitious, but we shall see. :)

I Just Want to Hold My Baby

We had an ultrasound and check-up today and all is great.  The baby looks beautiful and perfect.   I am a bit disheartened that I have not progressed as far as I had hoped in terms of being ready for labor and delivery.  Granted, I'm only at 36 weeks, but it feels like this baby has been 17 months in the making.  We decided in November 2013 to start trying to conceive and well, the rest of the story is throughout this blog for those who don't know.  I'm SO ready to just hold this baby in my arms and know that it actually makes it out of my body alive and well.  I KNOW that God is sovereign and His perfect will is going to be done...still, I'm human.  I want this baby here...now.  I'm struggling with patience and in tears tonight.  I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow.  Thanks pregnancy hormones, thanks. :(

Nesting

You know you are nesting when:

1.  You just HAVE to stop everything to wash the inside of your washer

2.  You buy Q-Tips just to make sure that you can get the corners of your baseboards super duper cleaned

3.  You not only clean your windows, but wash the screens down, too

I am officially crazy.

This time last year...

I didn't plan on writing about this, but here I am.   A year ago today, I took a pregnancy test and was shocked and excited to see that it was positive.  I was also very scared.  The month had been crazy.  I had the flu and a sinus infection and then a stomach bug.  I was so worried something would be wrong with the baby.  Fast forward to getting towards the end of the first trimester and I FINALLY started feeling a bit better about things.  Then, BAM.  We miscarried.  Tonight, I feel another sweet baby moving inside of me while I type this.  A baby who will be joining our family in April (Lord willing).  What a difference a year makes.

As excited and thankful that I am that we are getting ready to meet this sweet baby, I still miss the little one that is in Heaven.  I miss him/her terribly.   He/she will always have a place in our family.  The kids speak openly (not frequently, thankfully) about the baby in Heaven.  They know they'll get to meet him/her one day.  I love that. I love that we will all get to meet him/her one day.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I should be sleeping...

I should be sleeping, but instead I'm going to blog about random things that are on my mind.  This, my friends, is what is on the mind of this 30 something year old, third trimester mama who is getting ready to have a child turn 5 in less than two weeks.

In no particular order:

1.  I need to finish my to do list.  As in finish actually writing out everything that I need to do before: a.) Addi's birthday party b.) the baby's grand debut.  Then, I need to finish everything on said to do lists.

2.  I need to get more sleep.  I am exhausted all the time.  The problem is that when I try to sleep, I can't get comfortable or I wake up multiple times a night.  So, I delay the process which really doesn't do me any good.

3.  I've decided I want to home school my daughter...again (this is a major flip-flop of an issue for me).   Only problem...her crazy daddy ;) doesn't agree.  He thinks it will be great for her.  I agree, but not right now.  Probably because she will be 5 in 12 days and I am very emotional about it.  FIVE.  I can't even begin to process how we got to this age already. Time stinks.  It either goes too fast or too slow...never exactly the way I want it to. ;)  As to the home schooling thing...not going to happen.  I know it's actually not ideal...still this mama wants to hang on to her little girl a little longer.  Admittedly, there are days that I wish she was in school now.  Not going to lie.

4.  We should be getting around 6" of snow tomorrow night into Thursday morning.  I DO NOT want that.  It's cold here.  It's been dreary.  I'm ready for Spring.  Considering everyone who reads this....(yes, all maybe 2 of you) gets more snow than me, I KNOW I shouldn't complain.  Oh well, I am. ;)  The only advantage is that the kids may actually get to build a snow man.  They want to so bad.  It will be worth it to see their faces...I think. ;)

5.  I use the wink ;) way too often.

6.  Thank God for Tums.  This baby better have a head full of hair with all the Tums I've had to take.  Truth:  If it doesn't have a head full of hair, I will forget I ever had heartburn as soon as I see him/her.

7.  I think we have names picked out.  Actually, maybe we don't really.  We're kind-of up in the air on a first and middle name for a girl and a middle name for the boy...so I guess we really don't have names picked out.  Ha!

There are a lot more thoughts spinning around my head, but alas, I'm tired and I think I'm going to attempt to sleep.  Here's to hoping I can get in a nice sound sleep BEFORE one of the kids wake me up. ;) (There's that wink again...I'm addicted.)

What If??

What if?

What if I actually make quiet time with God a priority?

What if I give the kids a day of nothing but playing with Mommy the entire day (excluding:  time to prepare meals and their "quiet" time...which is usually not so "quiet")?

What if I don't even look at my phone or computer screen on that day?  (Except if Jared calls, because I can't ignore my husband and if my sister calls because I talk to her every day)?

What if I silently - or maybe not silently - say a quick prayer for God to be in my response when one of the kids misbehave or when my husband says something that I perceive to be rude (which, usually isn't even rude, but I'm emotional and quick to react)?

What if I ignore my to-do list and focus only on my kids for the day (making sure to at least tidy up and cook dinner before Jared gets home)?

What if I don't rush through bedtime?

What if I make sure my husband knows that he is more important than crossing off items on my to-do list once the kids go to sleep?

I think for the next few days I am going to work hard at finding out the answers to these questions. :)

Why am I doing this?

For about a year now, life has been crazy.  It all started with the entire family getting the flu and other illnesses last February and it sort-of spiraled out of control from there.  I feel like I need a few days of refocusing on what matters.  What matters most at this very moment is reconnecting.  I pray quite a bit, but I don't devote the time I should to growing my relationship with Christ.  I often give my time half-heartedly to my children...I am present, but not fully present.  Same goes with Jared.

I will be back to report my results.  (As if anyone will actually see this). ;)

We don't co-sleep and I'm fine with that

A friend posted an article on Facebook about how important and special it is to co-sleep.  Personally, I do not have a strong opinion on co-sleeping as it pertains to other families.  If it is important for you to do that, who am I to say that you are wrong?  I am all about whatever works best for your entire family.

For my family - in this stage of our lives - it doesn't work for us.  Here's why:

1.  We have a queen size bed.  We have two kids and two adults in the house.  I am pregnant and paranoid of my belly getting accidentally kicked.  If all four of us are in the bed, it is very uncomfortable.  The ones who end up being the most uncomfortable are the adults.  My husband works hard and deserves his rest.  I deserve my rest as well.  If I don't sleep, I get grouchy.  If I am grouchy, I'm not a fun mommy.  Yes, the kids deserve their rest...even more than that, they deserve nice parents. We're just nicer when we get our sleep, but who isn't?

2.  My husband is my life partner.  I vowed to God and to him that I would be with him until death does us part.  It is my belief that I should put my husband above my children.  Sure, I spend MORE time with my kids.  Yes, my kids need me to assist them in ways my husband doesn't.  We totally believe that it is absolutely fine and absolutely necessary for each parent to spend individual time with the kids. We make this a priority. However, for those reasons and many more, we do not get a lot of time alone together.  So our bed is ours.  I refuse to sleep away from my spouse just so that I can sleep with my kids.  (Of course, there are exceptions.  If a child is sick and needs me, or scared and wants one of us to sleep with them for a little while, we  do not hesitate.  On most nights, at least one child will crawl into our bed when they wake up.  Usually, we let them fall back to sleep in our bed and then carry them back to their own bed.)  It works for us.

3.  I think it's OK for kids to be alone with their thoughts.  There are going to be times in their lives when they will be all alone and I want them to not fear that.  I want them to embrace those moments and relish in the quiet just as much as I want them to embrace life and cherish the time spent with others. To be clear, my kids are 3 1/2 and almost 5...I am not talking about infants and small children...I don't feel the need to share my thoughts about that stage of life at this time. ;)

Now, I am NOT a parenting expert.  I don't have all the answers. I have made my fair share of mistakes along this journey already and know that I will continue to do so.  I know there will be one day when I look back at this time and regret how fast time went (considering I have heard from 5,892 parents how fast this time goes, I'm pretty sure that everyone has that regret.) However, I don't need another article telling me why it's so important to do something a certain way and how horrible it will be when this stage is gone.

Disclaimer:  I know I could be accused of doing just that in this post.  However, I am sure that there are only 3-5 people who even read this blog at all. I am not trying to convince anyone to do anything differently.  Instead, I am a hormonal mama who just wanted to get "my side" off my chest. ;)  If you do co-sleep, you are awesome.  If you don't co-sleep, you are awesome.  We are all just doing what we feel is best.  Every family, every child is different.  I TOTALLY understand that.  There is NO judgement here.  So, keep up the good work, Mama...however you choose to parent.

The end. ;)