It's 2:30 am and I cannot sleep. It might be because my sweet husband is snoring rather loudly (something that only happens when he is REALLY tired). He works so hard and was up until 1:45 working on a project, so I can't be mad, but nonetheless, sleep is not happening right now.
I was shopping with Addi yesterday when out of the blue she looked at me and said, "I have the best mommy ever!" When her sweet little voice said that, I completely teared up. I looked at her and told her that I had the best daughter ever. She beamed the same way she beams every time I tell her I am proud of her or that she is pretty, smart, amazing, incredible, funny, silly, cute, a precious princess, a gift from God, fearfully and wonderfully made and that I love her so much and she is my most favorite girl. :) Anyway, I don't know what I did to warrant the best mommy ever comment, but I'll gladly take it. (Note that I do not feel like the best mommy ever...but it sure was nice to hear!)
October has been a fun month. The nice weather has allowed for several trips to various parks in our area. We are blessed to have several nice parks within a few minutes of our home plus a small play area in our neighborhood. The kids LOVE to go the park and we usually have at least one play date a week at a park. Great way for the kids to get exercise and to wear themselves out for nap time. :) We made a trip to Virginia to visit family and see my sweet nephew dedicated a couple weeks ago. It was a great time! This past Sunday, we journeyed to the mountains (about an hour and a half away) and had some great family fun (and found a park there, too). We visited the pumpkin patch a couple days ago. Addi was interested in it last year (not so much the first year we took her), but this year both kids were really interested in it. They loved it and it was so cute to watch Brogan walk around saying, "Punkins!" He wanted to eat them. Addi wanted to kiss them. :) Addi loved the maze, climbing on the hay, and riding this tricycle type toy they had...oh and having daddy chase after her. :) Brogan loved the fake cows, playing with a plastic wheelbarrow and the slide. :)
It is so much fun to see the world through their eyes! They love such simple things and can see beauty where the average person cannot. We passed a cemetery a couple weeks ago and Addi said, "Oh, look how prettiful!" Of course she does not have an understanding of what a cemetery is, but all her eyes could see were flowers on all the plots. She was right, it was pretty. Something that is usually associated with sadness, was instead seen as joyful when looked through her eyes. It is so easy to take things for granted and to only see things a certain way. I am praying that God helps me to view more things like my children. I think most adults tend to look at certain circumstances, places, and even people with pity at times. We'll see a run down place and think, "What a shame." Kids see it and say, "This is neat!" We we will be running errands or scurrying to get somewhere on time and will be frustrated. Our children will be laughing and enjoying the moment...not worrying about the dozens of things that still need to marked off the to do list. We see people with a disability or people who look different and want to pity them, thinking how sorrowful it must be in their shoes. Kids Addi and Brogan's age just see people equally. They look past the disability and keep going. It scares me to think that there will be a day where my sweet babies will start viewing people and circumstances differently. My prayer is that Jared and I can teach them to look through God's eyes, not human eyes. My prayer is that we can see more through God's eyes.
Anyway, it is now close to 3:00 am and once again I have a post that is a rambling mess, so I am ending it. :) Until next time, God bless!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Lighten Up
Being a parent is hard work. It is even worse when you almost hyperventilate because your 2 and a half year old cannot yet spell her name without assistance or say a complete bible verse without a little help. Or when your 16 month old does not know that frogs say, "ribbit" and that cows are the only animals that say, "moo." Yes, I am the mother who compares her children's development to others and yes, I TOTALLY understand that I should not do this. For the first several months of their lives, I compared their development to others their ages because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't any issues I needed to discuss with their doctors. Now that they are out of daycare, I mainly compare them to others to determine if I am teaching our children quick enough (or if I am teaching them the right things at the right times). This has caused an incredible amount of unecessary stress in my life and as a result of my paranoia, in my poor husband's life, too. At least once a week (more like four or five times a week), I tell Jared that I am afraid that I am not teaching Addi and Brogan enough or that I am failing as a mother. Jared reassures me everytime, but lately has requested (OK, he's begged me) to STOP the insanity.
I've been thinking a lot today about what is truly important right now (in regards to my family)...these are in no particular order as they are all just about equally important:
1. I want my children to love God. They both know the song, "Jesus Loves Me" as well as other Christian songs. Addi knows that Jonah went to time-out in the belly of a whale because he didn't listen to God. ;) She will tell me on our walks that God made grass, trees, mommy, daddy, etc. I can start to say a couple Bible verses and they will both finish them for me. They know we pray before we eat, that we randomly think God throughout the day and that we pray for others. They love to listen to "Jesus" songs with daddy and they both love church. Addi pretends to talk on the phone to our pastor and will tell us she's going to Bible Study. I think we're on the right track. The complete memorization of Bible verses will come in time...for now, we just need to tell our children about the love of God and display the love of God to them.
2. I want my kids to be ready for kindergarten. Addi can sing the alphabet, recognize the letters A-D, count to 15 (20 with help), recognizes shapes (mainly hearts, stars, and triangles) and knows a couple colors. Brogan can count to ten with assistance, says a large part of the alphabet and can tell you most of his body parts. Addi talks in complete sentences; Brogan has been saying four word sentences some, but mostly sticks to two or three word phrases. They have a lot to learn, but my goodness, they are 2 and a half and 16 months...not 5. They already know so much and are learning every day! The freaking out about this really needs to stop.
3. I want my children to feel safe, secure and loved in a nurturing environment. Recently, I've let the stress of feeling like a failure get to me. (OK...really, I've felt like a failure the large part of their lives for one reason or another). I haven't been on my game. I've been quick-tempered, grown frustrated when Addi would rather throw toys than sort blocks into appropriate colors or when Brogan would rather dive off the couch than listen to a Bible story, and have not enjoyed spending time with my kids the way I should. I know they feel safe, secure and loved, but I need to stop beating myself up. It's not good for any one in the Turner home when I do this. As the saying goes, "If mommy's not happy, nobodies happy." ;)
4. I want to soak in EVERY single moment with my children and husband. I don't want to look back at this time and say, "Boy, maybe I should have joined in when the kids were crawling around the floor pretending they were lions instead of wondering if I should be making them practice their letter recognition." And for now, if Brogan wants that lion to "moo" than that is OK with me. Soon the lion will "roar," Addi will spell her name, and Jared will be handing me a tissue as I cry watching them graduate from college.
I've been thinking a lot today about what is truly important right now (in regards to my family)...these are in no particular order as they are all just about equally important:
1. I want my children to love God. They both know the song, "Jesus Loves Me" as well as other Christian songs. Addi knows that Jonah went to time-out in the belly of a whale because he didn't listen to God. ;) She will tell me on our walks that God made grass, trees, mommy, daddy, etc. I can start to say a couple Bible verses and they will both finish them for me. They know we pray before we eat, that we randomly think God throughout the day and that we pray for others. They love to listen to "Jesus" songs with daddy and they both love church. Addi pretends to talk on the phone to our pastor and will tell us she's going to Bible Study. I think we're on the right track. The complete memorization of Bible verses will come in time...for now, we just need to tell our children about the love of God and display the love of God to them.
2. I want my kids to be ready for kindergarten. Addi can sing the alphabet, recognize the letters A-D, count to 15 (20 with help), recognizes shapes (mainly hearts, stars, and triangles) and knows a couple colors. Brogan can count to ten with assistance, says a large part of the alphabet and can tell you most of his body parts. Addi talks in complete sentences; Brogan has been saying four word sentences some, but mostly sticks to two or three word phrases. They have a lot to learn, but my goodness, they are 2 and a half and 16 months...not 5. They already know so much and are learning every day! The freaking out about this really needs to stop.
3. I want my children to feel safe, secure and loved in a nurturing environment. Recently, I've let the stress of feeling like a failure get to me. (OK...really, I've felt like a failure the large part of their lives for one reason or another). I haven't been on my game. I've been quick-tempered, grown frustrated when Addi would rather throw toys than sort blocks into appropriate colors or when Brogan would rather dive off the couch than listen to a Bible story, and have not enjoyed spending time with my kids the way I should. I know they feel safe, secure and loved, but I need to stop beating myself up. It's not good for any one in the Turner home when I do this. As the saying goes, "If mommy's not happy, nobodies happy." ;)
4. I want to soak in EVERY single moment with my children and husband. I don't want to look back at this time and say, "Boy, maybe I should have joined in when the kids were crawling around the floor pretending they were lions instead of wondering if I should be making them practice their letter recognition." And for now, if Brogan wants that lion to "moo" than that is OK with me. Soon the lion will "roar," Addi will spell her name, and Jared will be handing me a tissue as I cry watching them graduate from college.
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