Our neighbors across the street had their 4-year-old grandson with them today and allowed him to take advantage of our snow/ice covered sidewalks. His grandma would push him on a rubbermaid top and he would slide, laughing the entire way. I thought it was adorable how before he would even get off of the top, he would be yelling, "Again! Again! Again!" and would proceed to yell that all while running as fast as he could back to his grandma.
Lately Jared and I have been struggling a bit with contentment given his current job situation. We are keenly aware of God's blessings and are amazed at how He has blessed us just in this situation. At times though it seems like we are like the little boy...before we can even fully appreciate and take in one blessing, we are yelling for Him to bless us more. Maybe it's because we are spoiled, maybe it's because we want the blessing of Jared having a full-time job, maybe it's just that we don't know how to be as thankful as we can for what we have. Whatever the reason, we both have realized that we need to learn how to be more content in our present circumstances. God's grace should be the only blessing we truly desire and He has already given it to us!
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11 - 13
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
30 Weeks
Symptoms - Nothing new with the morning sickness. Energy has been about the same as well. My desire to eat tomato based products and to drink orange juice is the same also. I still feel larger than life...Addi is definitely growing...unfortunately, that means Mommy is too. My emotions have been a little better the last couple of days, so I'm REALLY hoping that for Jared's sake it continues. As Jared told me the other day, "I don't know why I'm out looking for a job. Dealing with you is a full-time job." At least he said it while smiling. :)
Memorable Moments - Jared got home late Wednesday night from a freelancing thing. Addi had not been moving much before he got home. He started talking and singing to her and she started moving like crazy. She seemed so excited! As soon as he stopped, she stopped moving again. So sweet! We also celebrated Jared's birthday yesterday. His last one before he is a full-fledged daddy! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Very excited! We've started talking about what it is going to be like those first few moments when she is born...we can hardly wait! :)
Memorable Moments - Jared got home late Wednesday night from a freelancing thing. Addi had not been moving much before he got home. He started talking and singing to her and she started moving like crazy. She seemed so excited! As soon as he stopped, she stopped moving again. So sweet! We also celebrated Jared's birthday yesterday. His last one before he is a full-fledged daddy! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Very excited! We've started talking about what it is going to be like those first few moments when she is born...we can hardly wait! :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
2nd Letter to Addison Hope
Dear Addison,
This letter is all about your daddy. While you will always know that he loves you, I wish so badly that there was a way for you to see the love he has for you now - before you even come out of the womb.
For starters, he sings to you every single day. He has made up a song for you that I am sure you will grow to learn and love. :) When he sings it to you, he always has a smile on his face.
He also LOVES to talk to you. He will tell you how much you are loved, how we can't wait for you to get here and how much help he will need you to help deal with me. ;) He tells you that he hopes you look like me and act like him. (Sometimes I think he is scared of mommy's energy...and her emotions!) He also tells you about my good qualities and how he hopes that you have those, too. :)
He is so proud of you. He lights up when he talks about you! He loves to tell people about you and he already knows that you are the sweetest, most precious baby in the entire world.
He has only had to miss one doctor's appointment I've had for you so far. He has been so supportive of me during this pregnancy. You see, even though I'm the person blessed to carry you in my womb for 9 months, your dad is doing everything possible to experience all that he can with this pregnancy. He's already took a daddy class and has given me very important tips on how to care for you!
He works so hard to give our family a great life. Right now he has been laid-off from his job (something he couldn't help and that was a result of a bad economy), but he has not for one minute allowed this to make him lose his desire to work hard. He will always do everything he can to support our family. Be sure to thank him for his hard work!
He is not afraid to say, "I love you." Your dad tells me multiple times a day that he loves me and I know he'll do the same to you...in fact, he already tells you that he loves you. You will grow to appreciate this so much.
The best quality of all about your dad is that he loves the Lord with all of his heart. Church is important to him, serving God is important to him, fellowship with other believers is important to him...these are all qualities that we hope to instill in you as well. You see, if you love the Lord, you'll NEVER have a reason to give up.
My hope is that one day when the time comes for you to find a spouse that you will search for someone who has the positive qualities that your dad has. Someone who loves God first and foremost. Someone who is not afraid to work hard or express his feelings of love for you. Someone who will show you kindness and respect. Someone who has integrity and stands by his word. Someone who will treat you like the princess you are, but won't be afraid to remind you that he is your prince and deserves respect too. Someone who will put his heart and soul into having a great marriage. If you find someone like this, you will have found a prize. Treat him like one and thank God for him every single day. I guarantee you, though there will be tough times(all marriages have tough times!) , you will enjoy a marriage that few people get to experience - a marriage very similar to the one I have been blessed to experience.
We love you our precious Addi!
Love,
Mom
This letter is all about your daddy. While you will always know that he loves you, I wish so badly that there was a way for you to see the love he has for you now - before you even come out of the womb.
For starters, he sings to you every single day. He has made up a song for you that I am sure you will grow to learn and love. :) When he sings it to you, he always has a smile on his face.
He also LOVES to talk to you. He will tell you how much you are loved, how we can't wait for you to get here and how much help he will need you to help deal with me. ;) He tells you that he hopes you look like me and act like him. (Sometimes I think he is scared of mommy's energy...and her emotions!) He also tells you about my good qualities and how he hopes that you have those, too. :)
He is so proud of you. He lights up when he talks about you! He loves to tell people about you and he already knows that you are the sweetest, most precious baby in the entire world.
He has only had to miss one doctor's appointment I've had for you so far. He has been so supportive of me during this pregnancy. You see, even though I'm the person blessed to carry you in my womb for 9 months, your dad is doing everything possible to experience all that he can with this pregnancy. He's already took a daddy class and has given me very important tips on how to care for you!
He works so hard to give our family a great life. Right now he has been laid-off from his job (something he couldn't help and that was a result of a bad economy), but he has not for one minute allowed this to make him lose his desire to work hard. He will always do everything he can to support our family. Be sure to thank him for his hard work!
He is not afraid to say, "I love you." Your dad tells me multiple times a day that he loves me and I know he'll do the same to you...in fact, he already tells you that he loves you. You will grow to appreciate this so much.
The best quality of all about your dad is that he loves the Lord with all of his heart. Church is important to him, serving God is important to him, fellowship with other believers is important to him...these are all qualities that we hope to instill in you as well. You see, if you love the Lord, you'll NEVER have a reason to give up.
My hope is that one day when the time comes for you to find a spouse that you will search for someone who has the positive qualities that your dad has. Someone who loves God first and foremost. Someone who is not afraid to work hard or express his feelings of love for you. Someone who will show you kindness and respect. Someone who has integrity and stands by his word. Someone who will treat you like the princess you are, but won't be afraid to remind you that he is your prince and deserves respect too. Someone who will put his heart and soul into having a great marriage. If you find someone like this, you will have found a prize. Treat him like one and thank God for him every single day. I guarantee you, though there will be tough times(all marriages have tough times!) , you will enjoy a marriage that few people get to experience - a marriage very similar to the one I have been blessed to experience.
We love you our precious Addi!
Love,
Mom
29 Weeks
Symptoms - Morning sickness is still the same...though it was also night sickness once this week. I definitely feel larger and less energetic. Jared said I should just put, "I feel like crap" as my symptoms, and he's kind-of right. Can't believe I still have 10 weeks to go, but also still can't believe that I am pregnant! What a blessing! :) My emotions have been on a roller coaster ride all week though...pray for Jared. ;)
Memorable Moments - The other night when Jared and I were praying before we went to sleep, we both had one hand on my stomach so that Addi could pray with us too. :) Just as Jared said, "God, in the times we can't see Your hand at work..." to which Addi responded with a swift kick into both of our hands. We smiled and Jared continued with, "and the times when we can see Your hand at work..." We certainly see and feel God's hand in this pregnancy and in other areas of our lives as well. :)We went to the doctor on Wednesday and everything is good...heart beat is beautiful, measuring around 30-31 weeks, and my blood pressure was really good! Praise God for a great report! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Blessed..thankful...ready for Addi to be here...but not quite ready yet.
Memorable Moments - The other night when Jared and I were praying before we went to sleep, we both had one hand on my stomach so that Addi could pray with us too. :) Just as Jared said, "God, in the times we can't see Your hand at work..." to which Addi responded with a swift kick into both of our hands. We smiled and Jared continued with, "and the times when we can see Your hand at work..." We certainly see and feel God's hand in this pregnancy and in other areas of our lives as well. :)We went to the doctor on Wednesday and everything is good...heart beat is beautiful, measuring around 30-31 weeks, and my blood pressure was really good! Praise God for a great report! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Blessed..thankful...ready for Addi to be here...but not quite ready yet.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A Reminder to Myself
It's always easy when faced with a trial to forget to look at past trials that God worked out beautifully. As a reminder to myself, I am posting a blog that I wrote on 6/26/09, but that I never posted. I didn't post it for several reasons...the main being that the blog is a very revealing post of my deepest, rawest emotions (some emotions that I'm really not proud of) during our journey to have a child. I had no idea when writing this blog, that God had already begun a work in my body and that a month and 4 days later I would find out that I was pregnant.
INFERTILE...I don't know if there is another word in all of the english language that is so ugly. I am infertile (at least for now). What does that mean? For now it means putting my biggest, longest dream on hold. It means cringing when people ask when we're going to have a child. It means wanting to scream when people are insensitive to what's going on (though most don't even know we're struggling). It means pretending the tears I cry at a baby dedication are tears of joy for the parents. It means feeling guilty because there are times I am envious of those who have children. It means wanting to smack some people across the face when they complain about having a bad day with their children. It means wondering why me, why out of all of my friends, I seem to be the one to have to carry this burden. It means feeling inadequate and unfeminine knowing that my body can't be part of creating a miracle. It means getting angry with God once in a while and then quickly crying out to Him in despair. It means hurting worse than I have ever hurt before. It means being scared that when people we love find out about this that they will judge me. It means wondering if there are times my husband wishes that he had married someone else...someone who could give him a son or a daughter to hold in his arms. It means questioning every thing I buy because each purchase is less money to put in savings for adoption. It means hiding behind a smile more often than I'm not these days. It means times of feeling so lonely I want to run to the closest insane asylum. It means wanting to wake up from a very bad dream and realizing daily that this nightmare is very much a real part of my life.
On the other hand...
It means hope. Hope that God will bless me like he did Hannah and Sarah in the Bible. Hope that because Jared and I have had to face this, we will be stronger and more sensitive to the needs of those around us. It means assurance. Assurance that God will grant me my heart's desires if I delight to do His will. It means joy. Joy in knowing that I have a Heavenly Father who puts my tears in a bottle and holds me close to His heart. It means healing. Healing from this pain and allowing God to mend my broken heart. It means awe. Awe that God is allowing me to deal with this because He knows I am strong enough to handle it. It means love. Love that grows daily for God, for my husband and for the child I will one day hold in my arms.
INFERTILE...I don't know if there is another word in all of the english language that is so ugly. I am infertile (at least for now). What does that mean? For now it means putting my biggest, longest dream on hold. It means cringing when people ask when we're going to have a child. It means wanting to scream when people are insensitive to what's going on (though most don't even know we're struggling). It means pretending the tears I cry at a baby dedication are tears of joy for the parents. It means feeling guilty because there are times I am envious of those who have children. It means wanting to smack some people across the face when they complain about having a bad day with their children. It means wondering why me, why out of all of my friends, I seem to be the one to have to carry this burden. It means feeling inadequate and unfeminine knowing that my body can't be part of creating a miracle. It means getting angry with God once in a while and then quickly crying out to Him in despair. It means hurting worse than I have ever hurt before. It means being scared that when people we love find out about this that they will judge me. It means wondering if there are times my husband wishes that he had married someone else...someone who could give him a son or a daughter to hold in his arms. It means questioning every thing I buy because each purchase is less money to put in savings for adoption. It means hiding behind a smile more often than I'm not these days. It means times of feeling so lonely I want to run to the closest insane asylum. It means wanting to wake up from a very bad dream and realizing daily that this nightmare is very much a real part of my life.
On the other hand...
It means hope. Hope that God will bless me like he did Hannah and Sarah in the Bible. Hope that because Jared and I have had to face this, we will be stronger and more sensitive to the needs of those around us. It means assurance. Assurance that God will grant me my heart's desires if I delight to do His will. It means joy. Joy in knowing that I have a Heavenly Father who puts my tears in a bottle and holds me close to His heart. It means healing. Healing from this pain and allowing God to mend my broken heart. It means awe. Awe that God is allowing me to deal with this because He knows I am strong enough to handle it. It means love. Love that grows daily for God, for my husband and for the child I will one day hold in my arms.
28 Weeks
Symptoms - Morning sickness is the same (don't think it will ever completely go away). Energy level pretty good; just getting larger which is making me mover slower.
Memorable Moments - Addi has been moving so much and we've realized that when I am upset, she moves A LOT. Due to the news we received on Tuesday, I was pretty tense the whole day. She literally moved the entire day. I guess she can sense it...I don't know. But her moving was a blessing...it made Jared and I remember how blessed we truly are. There will be rough spots in life, but as long as we have God, each other and our precious baby, it really isn't bad at all. :) You can also see Addi move quite a bit...she is moving my entire stomach! Oh and Jared went to his daddy class Thursday night. He loved it and learned how to change a diaper, how to hold a baby and quite a few other tips and tricks. He missed the first half of the national college championship football game for it...yup, he's in love with our little girl! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Wow...we are pretty much all over the map right now. I'll just leave it at that.
Memorable Moments - Addi has been moving so much and we've realized that when I am upset, she moves A LOT. Due to the news we received on Tuesday, I was pretty tense the whole day. She literally moved the entire day. I guess she can sense it...I don't know. But her moving was a blessing...it made Jared and I remember how blessed we truly are. There will be rough spots in life, but as long as we have God, each other and our precious baby, it really isn't bad at all. :) You can also see Addi move quite a bit...she is moving my entire stomach! Oh and Jared went to his daddy class Thursday night. He loved it and learned how to change a diaper, how to hold a baby and quite a few other tips and tricks. He missed the first half of the national college championship football game for it...yup, he's in love with our little girl! :)
Feelings / Thoughts - Wow...we are pretty much all over the map right now. I'll just leave it at that.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Jared's Job Loss
There is no way to sugarcoat it, life is tough sometimes. Right now we’re in a tough situation. We’re not happy about it. We’re not really thankful for it. We don’t like it. But the fact is, the earth will still rotate, the sun will still shine, and life will go on. So, we deal with what we’ve been handed. We’re hurt, we’re frustrated, we’re impatient…we’re human. The good news is: there is a God in heaven who loves us the way we are. He ordered our steps before we were born and this situation does not come as a surprise to Him. He already knows the outcome. There are lessons to be learned along the way, and we are ready to learn them. Will it all be fun? No. Do we really want to have to learn them? No. Do we wish that this was all just a bad dream? Yes. Will we be better, stronger, and happier in the long run as a result of this? Yes…if we keep looking up and receiving our strength from our Savior. So, that’s what we plan to do. We will thank God daily for our many blessings (and they are abundant!) and we will be still, listening for the voice of God to direct us and trusting that His plan is far better than ours.
To those of you who know us and have offered an encouraging word and/or prayers during this time, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You have no idea how much it means to us to know that people care.
“Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.” – Billy Graham
To those of you who know us and have offered an encouraging word and/or prayers during this time, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You have no idea how much it means to us to know that people care.
“Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.” – Billy Graham
Sunday, January 3, 2010
27 Weeks
Symptoms - Morning sickness is still the same. I have been a little more tired this week, but that's probably just coming off of the holiday season. Every day movements have also seemed to be a little slower, probably thanks to my ever expanding belly.
Memorable Moments - So many! We went to the doctor on Tuesday and I had to take the standard gestational diabetes test (don't have it...yay!), Addi is doing beautifully and growing...absolutely LOVE her heartbeat!! We celebrated New Year's and what a feeling to come into 2010 knowing that our sweet Addi will be born this year! :) We also bought all of the nursery decor/bedding and a crib.
Thoughts / Feelings - Such excitement and joy! We just can't wait! A little fear as we went and saw some friends of ours newborn yesterday...he weighed in at 10 lbs and 2 oz's...yikes! But he is such a cutie! :) I'm sure him and Addi will be great friends...the dads are already talking about the two of them dating in future years! :)
Memorable Moments - So many! We went to the doctor on Tuesday and I had to take the standard gestational diabetes test (don't have it...yay!), Addi is doing beautifully and growing...absolutely LOVE her heartbeat!! We celebrated New Year's and what a feeling to come into 2010 knowing that our sweet Addi will be born this year! :) We also bought all of the nursery decor/bedding and a crib.
Thoughts / Feelings - Such excitement and joy! We just can't wait! A little fear as we went and saw some friends of ours newborn yesterday...he weighed in at 10 lbs and 2 oz's...yikes! But he is such a cutie! :) I'm sure him and Addi will be great friends...the dads are already talking about the two of them dating in future years! :)
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