Sad

Back to work tomorrow. Not at all happy about it. Not at all. :(

Please pray that Brogan will adjust well to daycare and that Addi will adjust to being back to full days.

I know happier times will prevail...I'm just really brokenhearted at the moment.

Procrastination

My boss emailed me today to check in and make sure that I still plan on returning to work on August 1st. Yes, this is the plan. I started to reply to her and confirm, but just couldn't bring myself to hit the send button. So tonight, I procrastinate...and let the tears fall freely as type this. I'll reply tomorrow, but for now I am avoiding doing so. Doesn't change anything...I still have to send the email, still have to go to work on August 1st, still have to kiss my son good-bye knowing that for a few hours every Monday-Friday he will be someone elses to hold, play with, hug and comfort and I will still have to face reality that my baby girl can no longer be dropped off at daycare at 10:30 in the morning and picked up well before other children get to go home. I know this is a good problem...to have a job and to have children, but right now it hurts. Right now, I don't like it. Right now, I want July to last for another 31 days. Right now, I want to curse the people who created money, who thought women should have equal rights in the work force, who thought work weeks should be 40 hours. I hate the pursuit of the American Dream...my dream is to be able to be spend as much time with my children as I absolutely want to. Tomorrow, I will hit the send button.

Betty Who??

An actual conversation at our house the other day:

Jared: "Oh, wow...Betty Ford died."
Me: "Bummer...I really liked her acting."
Jared: Silence combined with a look of complete exasperation
Me: "Wait a minute, is she not an actress?"

Haha...I totally thought he was talking about Betty White, not a former First Lady. This is just one of several reasons why I will never home school our children. :)

Prayer Request and Random Stuff

If anyone reads this within the next few days, Jared and I could use your prayers. I can't go into details, but an opportunity may present itself that will require a pretty major decision on our part (and no, the decision does not involve a move).

In other news:

Brogan is doing great! Growing like a weed (I think...he still seems pretty small to us), He is starting to sleep a little better at night...praise Jesus! He is also more alert and is smiling...melts my heart. Poor thing doesn't like to be put down though...cries a lot. He also gets hit by his sister...a lot. She better be careful, one day he will probably be bigger than her.

Addi is crazy as ever. :) She is becoming very polite...says, "peese" (please), "tant you" (thank you) and my personal favorite, "beshu" (bless you) when someone sneezes. She loves to help around the house...usually this involves helping us clean a mess she has made, but that's OK. She is very sociable...says, "hi" to everyone she sees at church or in a store or anywhere else we may be. She loves her brother...loves to talk to him, lay beside him, brush his hair, rub his head and hit him. Again, we're working on the hitting part...and the stealing his pacifier part...and the screaming to make him cry part...and the laughing when she makes him cry part. Yes, Addi is a work in progress, but hey, who isn't??

Jared and I are doing good, too. :) We have successfully learned how to carry on a conversation when one or both of the babies are crying. We have also learned how to look at each other in defeat when we realize the conversation must be put on hold because we can't really hear each other. We are enjoying extra time together while I'm on maternity leave. I keep telling Jared this is the way it could always be, but reality is it can't be right now...so I have to suck it up and move on...and go back to work on August 1st. It could be worse...I could be without a job...without children...without a husband, etc. We love our church...so blessed to listen to such an incredible man of God preach every Sunday...and we love the choir...and really like the workers in the nursery...we don't love the parking, but we now have a double stroller so that when we make the trek across the parking lot we still look presentable by the time we reach the church building. Actually, I always did...Jared would carry both kids, I would carry the Bibles...yes, he spoils me. :)

I am super excited that I got my hair cut the other day. It had not been cut for 7 months...yes, that's embarrassing to admit. But it's cut now and I feel like a new woman...amazing how a haircut can do that for you. I am also super excited because I get to go to a Beth Moore conference later this month. I love her teachings; she is an incredible woman. The conference is on a Friday night and Saturday morning. It is in Charlotte, so I'm not going to have to leave the babies overnight. Jared is watching the kids on Friday night and Saturday morning...I'm sure he's thankful he won't have to try to nurse Brogan on Friday night. ;)

I miss my sister and don't like that we live four hours away from each other. I hope she reads this and calls me...and asks if her and her husband can come stay with us on Labor Day weekend like they did last year. That was a ton of fun...we want to do it again. HINT HINT!!

That's all for now. Enjoy your week!