Anxiety

This happened the last week or so when I was pregnant with Addi and it's happening again this time around...anxiety at night. I will be fine during the day, but when night rolls around, I can't sleep. Or I start to sleep and then I think I can't breathe and I start to feel anxious. So I turn on a light, or a couple lights...or in the case of tonight...a few lights. Jared is sleeping peacefully in our bedroom, Addi is sound asleep in her bedroom, and I have lights on in the kitchen, spare bedroom, living room, one bathroom and two hallways. This is ridiculous. I think I read in one of my pregnancy books that this is actually a hormonal issue and really nothing to worry about, but I do feel rather silly and a little scared that I'll NEVER have another decent night's sleep again. I have prayed about this situation, read my Bible, surfed the internet, talked to myself outloud, watched tv, etc, to make this anxious feeling go away...but NOTHING seems to help. Nothing but sunlight once the morning rolls around. Blogging about this issue is just another attempt to try to deal with this. My hope is that I will read this blog and realize that I am crazy to be up this late and will be able to fall asleep.

I am thankful that at least I do have enough sense about me during these late nights to realize that God is in control and sees my every move. This does help. Admittedly, the anxiety remains, but I am eventually able to relax some in this.

Almost Here!

Dear Baby Boy,

We are ready for you to get here! Thanks to the wonderful help of your fabulous Aunt Brandy, your crib has been set-up and clothes have been washed for a while. We have a ton of stuff waiting for you - including new toys from sweet people. Your sister has tried out all the toys and I think she has a couple favorites. Don't you worry, once you get here, mommy and daddy will make sure you get to play with them, too! :)

Anyway, we love you...and will see you soon! (Just remember you are to come this Friday and not before...mommy still has to pack the hospital bags!)

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Dancing Addi

Ready or Not...

Our sweet baby boy will be joining our family no later than May 27th (unless of course they induce on the 27th and we don't have him until the 28th). Either way...he is going to be a May baby! :)

Our doctor doesn't really feel it necessary for me to go to the due date because I am already dilated 2 centimeters. However, blood pressure is not an issue...it was perfect today! Praise God for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby...we're praying it continues the next couple of weeks. :)

A Letter A Bit Belated

To my sweet baby boy,

I'm ashamed to say that I have yet to write you a letter on this blog and I am almost 36 weeks pregnant with you. Rest assured that not writing to you does not mean that I haven't thought about you, talked to you, and loved you while you're being formed in my womb. You are my son and I am already so proud and thankful to be your mommy!

When I first found out I was pregnant with you, I was scared to death. Your sister was only 6 1/2 months old and I was already feeling overwhelmed with being a mommy to her. I had no idea how I was going to be able to be a good mother to 2 children. As soon as I saw the first ultrasound picture of you, I felt nothing but love and excitement. And as the weeks have turned to months, my excitment about your arrival has increased every single day.

I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to see what you look like and to hear your first cry. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet cheeks. I can't wait to hold your hand and tickle your foot and look into your eyes as I tell you how much I love you.

Reality is, I'm still a little scared. I have NO clue how to raise a boy - thank God you have a good daddy that knows about being a man! :) He will show you the ropes and I have no doubt that you will be taught how to love God, respect others and work hard. He is a a perfect role model for you. He will also treat you how to chant, "Men, men, men, men!" all while pumping your fists. He is working on that with you now and it totally won't surprise me if you are saying it when you are born.

You also have an older sister who will teach you how to play and how to enjoy life. She has such a zeal for life and you two are going to have a blast! :) You two will definitely have your arguments, there is no doubt about it...but that's OK...you two will also have a bond that is like no other.

I am going to do my best to teach you about compassion, love and how to laugh in even the craziest of circumstances. I want you to looks back on your childhood with the fondest of memories. I will make sure that happens!

Thankfully, your dad and I are keenly aware that we can do nothing in this life without Christ. As we cling to Him, we know He will continue to guide us to be the people He wants us to be. And we want you to learn how to cling to Christ as well. This is why we are going to allow you and your sister to see us pray and read our bibles. This is why we will take you to church. This is why we will serve others as a family. God created you and we don't want you to EVER forget that. As hard as it is for me to even fathom, God's love for you is so much stronger than our love for you. He knows you better than you even know yourself...and He always will.

And now, as we prepare and wait for your arrival, all I can say is...I love you and will see you soon! Enjoy your last few days in there...and get ready for the ride of your life! Our family of four is going to have so much fun!!!

Love,
Mommy

Addi Eating

We handed over the spoon tonight and let Addi feed herself her applesauce. She thought this was a ton of fun! :) We're still trying to get use to our Flip camera, so please excuse that we cut off the top of her head in some of this. :)

Lesson learned from the bathroom sink

I grew quite frustrated the other night. We had an issue with one of our bathroom sinks being clogged so we had removed the drain cover or whatever it's called and fixed it. Well, the drain cover remained off for a little longer than it should have and somehow I managed to drop a plastic cap down the drain during this time. I tried to reach down and get it, but my fingers were not long enough. A fork, a knife, tweezers and 10 minutes later, I STILL could not get it out. With each try my frustration mounted and my sighs grew louder. The noise alarmed Jared and he came in asked me what was going on. As I continued to try to get the stupid cap out of the sink, I explained what I was trying to do. He lovingly looked at me and calmly said, "Let me try." Of course, I had to try one more time before I let him, and in complete exasperation gave up. Jared took a look down the sink, stuck his finger in the drain, and pulled out the cap. I exclaimed that he was my hero (which he always is anyway) and then he brought up an amazing point. He talked about how we often do the same thing with God. We have an issue or problem and immediately take matters into our own hands and try to fix it, which often creates a bigger mess or causes us to grow weary and upset. All the while, we could have just asked God for help and it could have been resolved quickly. The thought never occurred to me to ask Jared for help when the cap fell in the drain. Admittedly, there are times that it doesn't even occur to me ask God for help in a situation until I am at my breaking point. I want that to change. God needs to be the first source I turn to in every situation. Think about it - how much easier would life be for all of us if we actually did this?