I read something the other day that slightly irritated me. Since I am devoting a blog post to it, it probably irritated me more than just slightly. I have heard moms who are blessed to stay at home with their children complain about people thinking they don't work. I agree, moms who stay at home with children do, in fact, work. Being a mom is a full-time job.
What I read, referred to stay-at-home moms as full-time moms as if to imply that moms who work outside the home are not full-time. We moms who work outside the home, work inside the home full-time as well. We devote as much energy into our children's lives as any other mother. Our time may be limited, but our love for our children has no limits. We may have to send our children to daycare or leave them with a sitter, but we leave our hearts with them. We think about them all the time, worry about their well-being, long for more time with them and wish we could always be the ones to kiss their boo-boos, feed them, lay them down for a nap and play with them. We get tired - bone-tired - and feel like we can't deal with all the pressure at times, but we manage to muster up enough strength for our children to not know that we are exhausted, overwhelmed, or have had a bad day. We are moms...that's our job.
Having to work full-time and leave Addi at daycare bothers me quite a bit. I have cried about it, fussed at Jared about it (though it's totally not his fault...he works very hard!), and have felt guilt-ridden about it quite a bit. However, if I really stop to think about how I have seen the hand of God move in our lives and in our work situations in the last year, I can say without a shadow of doubt that we are where God wants us to be right now. Jared and I pray all the time to be in the center of God's will. Sometimes, God's will is our will, sometimes it is not. For now, God's will in this area is different than mine, but only God knows why He has us where He does. So, I publicly declare to God and to my husband that I am finally willing to accept this and will do my best not to complain. God has allowed undeserving me to be a full-time mom...how can I complain?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
So Excited!
Only 2 more days of work then it is time to let the Thanksgiving / Black Friday festivities begin! I cannot wait!
That's really all I have to say...or maybe it's just all I have time to say. Between work, a sick baby, and everything that needs to be done before we leave on Wednesday night or Thursday morning, I really don't have time to be on here.
So...have a great Thanksgiving!! Enjoy the time you have with your family and loved ones!! :)
That's really all I have to say...or maybe it's just all I have time to say. Between work, a sick baby, and everything that needs to be done before we leave on Wednesday night or Thursday morning, I really don't have time to be on here.
So...have a great Thanksgiving!! Enjoy the time you have with your family and loved ones!! :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A letter to my 8 month old!
Dear Addi,
You turned 8 months old yesterday. I can't believe it! Time is going way too fast, but I cherish every single moment I have with you.
You are such a sweet girl! You smile all the time. People always comment on what a happy baby you are. You love life and it radiates all over you. I hope that through the years, you never lose that joy.
You are easygoing, like your daddy...except when you're hungry or really tired. When you are hungry, you scream your head off. Seriously, you kick and scream and shake your arms. You've done this every since you were born and I don't think it's going to change any time soon.
You are very curious. You are not crawling yet, but somehow still manage to get into things. The other day you rolled underneath your swing and next to the lamp in the corner. I still don't know how you did it. I have a feeling once you start crawling, daddy and I are going to really have our hands full!
Speaking of crawling, you are a little stubborn. The fact that you are not crawling shows that. You have been acting like you are going to crawl for over 2 months, and yet, you start to attempt and then decide you don't want to and would rather have mommy or daddy give you the toy you want. When we don't give it to you right away, you cry and act like the world is coming to an end. Unfortunately, you have a double dose of stubborn...hopefully, you'll learn to manage it well in spite of everything.
You are funny. You love to giggle and love it when we act crazy. For example, I taught you how to put toys on your head and then move your head to make them fall off. You think this is hilarious. We have a hard time putting hats and bows on your head now though. You would rather try to shake them off and make us laugh than keep them on. We need to work on that.
You like to play. Daddy says that when you were born, he knew the minute he saw you that you were going to love to play. :) Your favorite toys right now are your toy piano and your infantino toy that makes crazy noises. You also love your seahorse that plays music and glows. You sleep with it every night. You think songs like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Patty Cake" are a ton of fun. You also love to play with your wipe box. That's kind-of weird, but I'm sure you'll grow out of it.
You are beautiful. Total strangers will come up to us and tell us what a gorgeous baby we have. It's true...you are the cutest baby I've ever laid eyes on. Your beauty runs deep though. It's not just the way you look, its who you are inside. You have a beautiful soul, I can already tell. I believe you are going to grow up to be kind and compassionate and pray that you are going to love Jesus more than anything.
You are a pure delight! Daddy and I love you so much and LOVE having you in our lives. We can't imagine the world without you. We love watching you grow. One day, when I'm holding your babies (if you decide to have them), I'll think about this time and I'll miss it. But, I'll love being the mom of a grown up Addi (who will probably choose to go by Addison at some point).
Happy 8 month my sweet Fufe!! :)
Love,
Mommy
You turned 8 months old yesterday. I can't believe it! Time is going way too fast, but I cherish every single moment I have with you.
You are such a sweet girl! You smile all the time. People always comment on what a happy baby you are. You love life and it radiates all over you. I hope that through the years, you never lose that joy.
You are easygoing, like your daddy...except when you're hungry or really tired. When you are hungry, you scream your head off. Seriously, you kick and scream and shake your arms. You've done this every since you were born and I don't think it's going to change any time soon.
You are very curious. You are not crawling yet, but somehow still manage to get into things. The other day you rolled underneath your swing and next to the lamp in the corner. I still don't know how you did it. I have a feeling once you start crawling, daddy and I are going to really have our hands full!
Speaking of crawling, you are a little stubborn. The fact that you are not crawling shows that. You have been acting like you are going to crawl for over 2 months, and yet, you start to attempt and then decide you don't want to and would rather have mommy or daddy give you the toy you want. When we don't give it to you right away, you cry and act like the world is coming to an end. Unfortunately, you have a double dose of stubborn...hopefully, you'll learn to manage it well in spite of everything.
You are funny. You love to giggle and love it when we act crazy. For example, I taught you how to put toys on your head and then move your head to make them fall off. You think this is hilarious. We have a hard time putting hats and bows on your head now though. You would rather try to shake them off and make us laugh than keep them on. We need to work on that.
You like to play. Daddy says that when you were born, he knew the minute he saw you that you were going to love to play. :) Your favorite toys right now are your toy piano and your infantino toy that makes crazy noises. You also love your seahorse that plays music and glows. You sleep with it every night. You think songs like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Patty Cake" are a ton of fun. You also love to play with your wipe box. That's kind-of weird, but I'm sure you'll grow out of it.
You are beautiful. Total strangers will come up to us and tell us what a gorgeous baby we have. It's true...you are the cutest baby I've ever laid eyes on. Your beauty runs deep though. It's not just the way you look, its who you are inside. You have a beautiful soul, I can already tell. I believe you are going to grow up to be kind and compassionate and pray that you are going to love Jesus more than anything.
You are a pure delight! Daddy and I love you so much and LOVE having you in our lives. We can't imagine the world without you. We love watching you grow. One day, when I'm holding your babies (if you decide to have them), I'll think about this time and I'll miss it. But, I'll love being the mom of a grown up Addi (who will probably choose to go by Addison at some point).
Happy 8 month my sweet Fufe!! :)
Love,
Mommy
Thanks Ms. Kim!
So I had planned on blogging each day in November about something that I am thankful for. Obviously, my intentions are much better than my actions. Today though, I'm thankful for Addi's teacher, Ms. Kim. Ms. Kim was the first teacher I spoke with when Jared and I dropped off our precious baby her first day of daycare. I was so sad and so scared. She put my mind at ease that day and has every day since. Addi loves her. She beams when she sees her, reaches for her and even gives her hugs. Ms. Kim can look at me in the mornings and without me saying a word she knows if I'm stressed or rushed. She instantly lends a helping hand...putting Addi's bottles and other necessities away and uttering an encouraging word. She knows the days I need to hold Addi for just one more minute because I'm having a hard time letting go and patiently waits for me to hand her over. As I have said before, I hate leaving my girl, but when I leave Addi with such wonderful people, I truly feel blessed.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Eye Opener
This doesn't happen frequently, but sometimes I feel sorry for myself. This is a pathetic trait. This week, I have felt sorry for myself. Addi has been sick, work has been hectic, I have been tired, the house has been consistently messy, and the list goes on. Usually a time of feeling sorry for myself results in me crying and pleading to God for help. I did this last night. It helped, but sometimes just asking for help doesn't change things. Sometimes we have to be open to how God "helps" us. He didn't reach down and take the stress away, instead He opened my eyes. I just read a portion of a blog of a first time mom named Libby. She has a daughter not much older than Addi and a loving husband...and she has cancer. Cancer. I feel sorry for myself for being busy and stressed and she is dealing with chemo and its side effects. I complain about having to leave Addi so that I can go to work and she is praying that she can have the strength to rock her baby to sleep every night. I am worn-out from the daily grind and she rejoices when she has enough energy to get out of the house for an hour. I am selfish and she is a warrior.
My prayer is that I don't forget that there are people in this world who have it a lot worse than me. Not just the people that we tend to often think about when we feel sorry for ourselves...you know, homeless people, those without jobs, lonely people, etc. I also want to remember those who are fighting every day so that they can live one more day. God has blessed me and even if He chooses not to bless me anymore, I have it so good. Makes me hope I never feel sorry for myself again. But when I do, I'll think of Libby, her husband and her sweet baby girl. And if you can, please think of her too. Pray for her and pray that God will heal her body and give her the strength she needs to make it through this horrible illness.
My prayer is that I don't forget that there are people in this world who have it a lot worse than me. Not just the people that we tend to often think about when we feel sorry for ourselves...you know, homeless people, those without jobs, lonely people, etc. I also want to remember those who are fighting every day so that they can live one more day. God has blessed me and even if He chooses not to bless me anymore, I have it so good. Makes me hope I never feel sorry for myself again. But when I do, I'll think of Libby, her husband and her sweet baby girl. And if you can, please think of her too. Pray for her and pray that God will heal her body and give her the strength she needs to make it through this horrible illness.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Burned Out
So I am completely burned out. Trying to give 110% percent to being a wife, mommy and full-time employee has caused me to become completely stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. Perhaps it's because I'm not giving 110% to God. Unfortunately, it's easy to let my relationship with God be put on the back-burner when daily tasks require so much time and energy. So, I'm taking steps to get back to the basics. Back to spending time in prayer and reading the Bible. The amazing thing is, upon making this decision, I felt immediate peace. I've been welcomed with open and loving arms by my amazing Savior. I feel like I'm home again and on my way to becoming refreshed and restored.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Six Months
Where does time go? I often think about this blog – think about updating it and wonder if anyone ever even reads it anymore. If you do, bless you!!
The last 6 months have been surreal: filled with moments of complete bliss intertwined with moments of utter chaos and complete confusion. Being responsible for a child will both age you and make you young all at the same time.
To recap the last few months (mainly for us to document these precious moments that we will yearn to relive one day):
March 2010 – What an absolute JOYOUS day March 1st was! We were finally in our sweet baby’s birth month! I woke up singing, “HAPPY BIRTH MONTH to you!” to the child who had already infiltrated our lives in the form of smiling animal mobiles, swings, blankets, tiny socks and shoes and pink…lots and lots of pink. Once Addison Hope entirely entered our world (as in she was now a sweet, beautiful, slightly jaundiced baby that we could not ignore) we were in for one of the longest yet shortest months of our lives! It was complete craziness. I wouldn’t want to do it again, and yet I would. I often tell people that I am convinced that God puts something special in children of first time parents – an ability to be patient while their parents learn (something I assume Addison will be doing for the rest of our lives because we will never fully learn). So to all of you children of first time parents…hats off to you!!
April 2010 – April started off on quite a different note than March. I was sad. Sad to know that would be the month I had to leave my baby girl at daycare. My wise husband gently, but firmly, gave me advice to enjoy the time I still had left as a “stay-at-home” mom and not think about the time I wouldn’t have with her. So I did. I enjoyed every single moment with my baby…cuddling and singing to her, suds-ing her up at bath time, listening to her breathe as she laid on me, and soaking in every single moment of every single day with her. Yes, there were times of being so tired that I cried and yelled at Jared for no reason at all (still sorry about that Mr. Wonderful!) and there were times that I thought I was completely unqualified to be a parent (but in truth, we all are!), but I ENJOYED my time with her so much. It was heavenly. Jared and I also got brave that month. We started taking Addi out in public to more places than the doctor’s office and church. Of course those outings ALWAYS required for Addi to wear a big hair bow and of course, pink. Addi’s first holiday and trip to Virginia were also thrown into that month. Then came April 26th – “Back to Work for Mommy Day" (aka ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!), but we all got through it. And on her fourth day of daycare, I dropped Addi off and she smiled at me with a smile I had never seen before. A smile so intense that for a moment I wondered if God had allowed her to look inside of my heart and see the tremendous amount of pain I was in while dropping her off just so that she could reassure me that she was ok. And she loves her daycare and I love the ladies who love her so much during the day…our “daycare family” that God has placed into our lives. They are blessings indeed.
May 2010 - May was a very special month! Jared and Addi had their first daddy/daughter date - they went shopping for Mother's Day! Mother's Day was a grand affair for me. I was completely spoiled by Mr. Wonderful and my precious princess! To anyone who has ever struggled with getting pregnant, Mother's Day can be such a difficult day and I remembered that this Mother's Day. I said prayers for those who I know are having difficulties getting pregnant and prayers for those who have lost their moms or have lost children. Sadly there are too many names on all of those lists. On May 16th we publically declared that we would raise Addi up in a Christian home. Even though we had already made this promise to God on several occasions, to be able to stand up in front of our church family, our families and our friends and make the promise again was so important and so special. It was followed by a big celebration with some of the closest people in our lives. Jared and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We did it up big…he worked at a race that night while I spent time at home wit Addi. Somehow, though…it really didn’t matter. We celebrate live with each other every day.
June 2010 - June was another adventurous month. It started off with Miss Addi getting sick. Her first fever of 101.2 put this mama into a panic! Thankfully it was just an ear infection due to a cold, but seeing my baby feeling poorly just about broke my heart into pieces. She handled her first illness like a champ though and definitely proved she is one tough cookie! Jared celebrated his first Father’s Day…complete with his favorite meal of enchiladas and lots of pictures of Addi to hang up on his office walls. I loved seeing Jared hold his daughter on this day…I love seeing him hold her every day…it makes me feel like all is right with the world. He is such a good daddy! June ended with my birthday celebration and a road trip for Addi and me to Virginia. She did great in the car (on the way to Virginia)…on the way back she did not do so great. I got to hear her scream for about an hour and a half…but hey, I can’t complain…her lungs are obviously in great shape!
July 2010 – July was another month filled with firsts for Addi! Her first 4th of July: which included a trip to church and her first picnic at the park. No fireworks for our little sparkler though…we figured we’d wait until next year when she is more observant. Following the fourth, she had her first full-week out of daycare (thanks to the grandmas for watching her while the daycare was closed!). The next week was her first, and hopefully last, case of croup. After the croup was out of her system she had her first taste of food…rice cereal (she didn’t like it) then oatmeal (she didn’t like it), then bananas (she loved them) and green beans (she loved them the most!). This was the month she also started smiling all the time and laughing. The first time she really laughed out loud was one day after work when she was in her daddy’s arms. I did something silly and she and Jared both laughed out loud. It was one of those moments you feel God just wrapped up and put a bow on before presenting it to us. I will never forget it and will forever treasure it.
August 2010 – August was busy, busy. I started a new position at work while transitioning out of another position which made for a crazy first couple of weeks! Addi and I made our second trip to Virginia without our favorite guy (boo) and then the next weekend we took our first family vacation (albeit for one night…but hey, it was fun!). I must say, Addi LOVED the hotel room. She thought it was so fun to play on the king size bed! Somewhere in the midst of our crazy month, Addi completely grew overnight. She started sitting up all by herself, reaching for her toys, talking even more and just overall became more observant and even more excited about life. What a fun baby she is!
And so here we are in September. It’s already been a great month! My sister and husband came to visit and we had a three day weekend! Addi has started to copy what others are doing. We first observed this on Saturday when she puckered her lips at my sister after my sister made “fish lips.” She is almost crawling and is just such a happy little girl.
Yesterday she turned six months old. What a bittersweet day it was. She has infiltrated our lives in the most amazing way. She fits into the mold of our little family so well that it’s hard to remember that she hasn’t always been here. However, time is going so fast. I hate that. I want to hold on to every second and add five more to it. But as Addi grows, we grow. We’re growing into our roles as parents…there are good days and not so good days. Days we feel like we have this parenting thing down and days we feel like we don’t have a clue. Every day though is filled with kisses, hugs, smiles, laughter and love….lots and lots of love. God has blessed me indeed…I couldn’t ask for more.
The last 6 months have been surreal: filled with moments of complete bliss intertwined with moments of utter chaos and complete confusion. Being responsible for a child will both age you and make you young all at the same time.
To recap the last few months (mainly for us to document these precious moments that we will yearn to relive one day):
March 2010 – What an absolute JOYOUS day March 1st was! We were finally in our sweet baby’s birth month! I woke up singing, “HAPPY BIRTH MONTH to you!” to the child who had already infiltrated our lives in the form of smiling animal mobiles, swings, blankets, tiny socks and shoes and pink…lots and lots of pink. Once Addison Hope entirely entered our world (as in she was now a sweet, beautiful, slightly jaundiced baby that we could not ignore) we were in for one of the longest yet shortest months of our lives! It was complete craziness. I wouldn’t want to do it again, and yet I would. I often tell people that I am convinced that God puts something special in children of first time parents – an ability to be patient while their parents learn (something I assume Addison will be doing for the rest of our lives because we will never fully learn). So to all of you children of first time parents…hats off to you!!
April 2010 – April started off on quite a different note than March. I was sad. Sad to know that would be the month I had to leave my baby girl at daycare. My wise husband gently, but firmly, gave me advice to enjoy the time I still had left as a “stay-at-home” mom and not think about the time I wouldn’t have with her. So I did. I enjoyed every single moment with my baby…cuddling and singing to her, suds-ing her up at bath time, listening to her breathe as she laid on me, and soaking in every single moment of every single day with her. Yes, there were times of being so tired that I cried and yelled at Jared for no reason at all (still sorry about that Mr. Wonderful!) and there were times that I thought I was completely unqualified to be a parent (but in truth, we all are!), but I ENJOYED my time with her so much. It was heavenly. Jared and I also got brave that month. We started taking Addi out in public to more places than the doctor’s office and church. Of course those outings ALWAYS required for Addi to wear a big hair bow and of course, pink. Addi’s first holiday and trip to Virginia were also thrown into that month. Then came April 26th – “Back to Work for Mommy Day" (aka ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!), but we all got through it. And on her fourth day of daycare, I dropped Addi off and she smiled at me with a smile I had never seen before. A smile so intense that for a moment I wondered if God had allowed her to look inside of my heart and see the tremendous amount of pain I was in while dropping her off just so that she could reassure me that she was ok. And she loves her daycare and I love the ladies who love her so much during the day…our “daycare family” that God has placed into our lives. They are blessings indeed.
May 2010 - May was a very special month! Jared and Addi had their first daddy/daughter date - they went shopping for Mother's Day! Mother's Day was a grand affair for me. I was completely spoiled by Mr. Wonderful and my precious princess! To anyone who has ever struggled with getting pregnant, Mother's Day can be such a difficult day and I remembered that this Mother's Day. I said prayers for those who I know are having difficulties getting pregnant and prayers for those who have lost their moms or have lost children. Sadly there are too many names on all of those lists. On May 16th we publically declared that we would raise Addi up in a Christian home. Even though we had already made this promise to God on several occasions, to be able to stand up in front of our church family, our families and our friends and make the promise again was so important and so special. It was followed by a big celebration with some of the closest people in our lives. Jared and I also celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We did it up big…he worked at a race that night while I spent time at home wit Addi. Somehow, though…it really didn’t matter. We celebrate live with each other every day.
June 2010 - June was another adventurous month. It started off with Miss Addi getting sick. Her first fever of 101.2 put this mama into a panic! Thankfully it was just an ear infection due to a cold, but seeing my baby feeling poorly just about broke my heart into pieces. She handled her first illness like a champ though and definitely proved she is one tough cookie! Jared celebrated his first Father’s Day…complete with his favorite meal of enchiladas and lots of pictures of Addi to hang up on his office walls. I loved seeing Jared hold his daughter on this day…I love seeing him hold her every day…it makes me feel like all is right with the world. He is such a good daddy! June ended with my birthday celebration and a road trip for Addi and me to Virginia. She did great in the car (on the way to Virginia)…on the way back she did not do so great. I got to hear her scream for about an hour and a half…but hey, I can’t complain…her lungs are obviously in great shape!
July 2010 – July was another month filled with firsts for Addi! Her first 4th of July: which included a trip to church and her first picnic at the park. No fireworks for our little sparkler though…we figured we’d wait until next year when she is more observant. Following the fourth, she had her first full-week out of daycare (thanks to the grandmas for watching her while the daycare was closed!). The next week was her first, and hopefully last, case of croup. After the croup was out of her system she had her first taste of food…rice cereal (she didn’t like it) then oatmeal (she didn’t like it), then bananas (she loved them) and green beans (she loved them the most!). This was the month she also started smiling all the time and laughing. The first time she really laughed out loud was one day after work when she was in her daddy’s arms. I did something silly and she and Jared both laughed out loud. It was one of those moments you feel God just wrapped up and put a bow on before presenting it to us. I will never forget it and will forever treasure it.
August 2010 – August was busy, busy. I started a new position at work while transitioning out of another position which made for a crazy first couple of weeks! Addi and I made our second trip to Virginia without our favorite guy (boo) and then the next weekend we took our first family vacation (albeit for one night…but hey, it was fun!). I must say, Addi LOVED the hotel room. She thought it was so fun to play on the king size bed! Somewhere in the midst of our crazy month, Addi completely grew overnight. She started sitting up all by herself, reaching for her toys, talking even more and just overall became more observant and even more excited about life. What a fun baby she is!
And so here we are in September. It’s already been a great month! My sister and husband came to visit and we had a three day weekend! Addi has started to copy what others are doing. We first observed this on Saturday when she puckered her lips at my sister after my sister made “fish lips.” She is almost crawling and is just such a happy little girl.
Yesterday she turned six months old. What a bittersweet day it was. She has infiltrated our lives in the most amazing way. She fits into the mold of our little family so well that it’s hard to remember that she hasn’t always been here. However, time is going so fast. I hate that. I want to hold on to every second and add five more to it. But as Addi grows, we grow. We’re growing into our roles as parents…there are good days and not so good days. Days we feel like we have this parenting thing down and days we feel like we don’t have a clue. Every day though is filled with kisses, hugs, smiles, laughter and love….lots and lots of love. God has blessed me indeed…I couldn’t ask for more.
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