Just Being Candid...

This was a tough week. Actually, it's been a tough 2012. Since January 1st, it seems like someone in our house has been sick or in pain almost every day. Just in the last two weeks, Addi had strep and a sinus infection, Brogan had two ear infections and congestion from teething Jared was sick, and now it seems Addi is getting sick again. We cannot catch a break in this area. It is frustrating. I know that in the midst of it all that God is here. I know that He is watching over us. I know that He is readily available to be my strength on the days when I break down and cry because I hate to see my family members sick and hate even more having to leave them to go to work when they are sick. Anyway, I KNOW all of this...it's a head knowledge. Yet sometimes, my heart doesn't feel the way my head thinks. Sometimes I feel like God is punishing me for working outside of the home (even though I am doing it for health insurance purposes), sometimes I feel like maybe we are out of His will - though everything seems to be pointing to the fact that we are not, sometimes I feel like He probably gets annoyed with me for asking for prayer for strength when what I am enduring pales in comparison to what others endure every day. Somehow though, I KNOW I am wrong. I KNOW that God loves me, I KNOW that He cares...and even in all my distress and agony of feeling like a sub-par Christian, wife, mother, daughter/sister, friend, employee, etc, I not only KNOW, but can feel that my Abba Father, my daddy is holding me in His arms. So, until I am strong enough to stand on my own again, here I am, a little weak, a little battle-torned, a little weary, but A LOT loved by my Amazing God who is comforting me and encouraging me to get back on my two feet and keep going.