At least once a day, I tell Addi the following:
You are beautiful!
You are sweet!
You are amazing!
You are silly! (She LOVES it when I say this.)
You are kind.
You are good.
You are funny! (She LOVES this one, too)
You are amazing!
You are pretty!
And, Mommy loves you sooooo MUCH! (She chimes in on the “much”)
And, you are my most favorite girl! (She chimes in on the “favorite girl”)
I tell her these things because they are so true. I tell her these things because I want her to know them deep down in her soul. I tell her these things because I want her to never, ever forget how incredible she is.
Somewhere along life’s way, I started telling myself the exact opposite of these things. If it was considered a “gift,” I would be gifted in being critical of myself. I have been for years and mommy-hood has made it WAY worse. I need to stop. If I were to look in the mirror and tell myself the lies the devil tries to tell me it would sound something like this:
You are ugly.
You will always be fat.
You are a failure.
You are an awful wife.
You have already ruined your children.
You are a terrible mother.
You are a disgrace to the kingdom of God.
You are unlovable.
You are unlikeable.
You are a loser.
You will never amount to anything.
You don’t deserve happiness.
You are a poor excuse for a (fill in the blank)…Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee and on and on.
God doesn’t love you: How can He?
Truth is, NONE of it is true. Yet, I feed into at least a few of these lies every single day. So here is my response to these horrid lies.
You are ugly. – Not true. I am a beautiful child of the King, created just the way that He wanted me to be.
You will always be fat. – A big FAT lie that I started believing when I was a size 4 thanks to words spoken by my own father - who was dealing with a failed marriage that was his fault - (Parents…be careful what you say to your children!!). Truth is, I need to lose some weight. Truth is, I’m not as fat as I think I am.
You are a failure. – Really??? I don’t even need to start with an argument here. Truth is, I’m an overcomer.
You are an awful wife. – Jared says different and he doesn’t lie. I could be better (who couldn’t be better to their spouse), but we have a happy marriage and I adore that man of mine.
You have already ruined your children. – I have ruined my children by working to help provide for their needs? I think not. They are in a safe, Christian daycare that they love being taught by people who love them. Ideal? Nope. Ruined? Nope.
You are a terrible mother. – I have to laugh at this lie. I totally know this is not true. I am a great mommy. Sure I have my blunders and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I LOVE my children fiercely. They absolutely know that their mommy loves them.
You are a disgrace to the kingdom of God. – I’ve made my mistakes. I don’t pray enough. I don’t read enough. I’m not a disgrace; I’m a human. A human created by a loving God who leads me along life’s way.
You are unlovable. – Not to God. Not to my husband. Not to my kids. Not to my family.
You are unlikeable. – I know this isn’t true unless the people who like to spend time with me are just doing it to feel sorry for me.
You are a loser. – Not at all. I am determined. I don’t give up on the important things.
You will never amount to anything. – While I’m not in the career field of my dreams, I’ve done well for myself.
You don’t deserve happiness. – Do any of us really deserve happiness? We expect it because we are spoiled, but we don’t deserve it any more than the person who is laying in a hospital bed fighting for their life. Truth is, we don’t deserve happiness, but God will willingly fill us with His joy. Joy is far better than happiness.
You are a poor excuse for a (fill in the blank)…Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee and on and on. - Not so. I care deeply. I love deeply. I do the best I can.
God doesn’t love you: How can He? - So not true. All I need to do is read the word to combat this lie.
I contemplated even posting this post because it’s not a la-da-dee, la-dee-da type of post. It’s harsh. It's a bit embarrassing to post. Unfortunately, it’s been my reality and I'm ready to get rid of this part of my life. These awful lies have held me back on so many levels and I REFUSE to let them keep holding me back. It sickens my stomach to think of what I have not done, the opportunities I have missed out on, the countless hours I have spent in misery because of these stupid lies. I need to change for myself,for Jared and so that I can be the role model I so desparately want to be for our beautiful kids. So now that I’ve put this out here, I feel like I can start moving on.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a very important meeting with two precious children. We’re going to rock the house down with, “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” :)
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